{"id":12268,"date":"2025-02-05T01:25:00","date_gmt":"2025-02-05T08:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/2c52adcd-9abe-11e8-99ad-ca52c1e5b2af"},"modified":"2025-04-08T13:10:12","modified_gmt":"2025-04-08T19:10:12","slug":"overcoming-lust","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/overcoming-lust\/","title":{"rendered":"Overcoming Lust"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lust.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a supercharged word, one with power to stir up all\u00a0sorts of things in our hearts when we hear it. That\u2019s because for Christians\u00a0who are seeking to submit our sexual desires to God, struggle and failure in\u00a0this deeply personal, deeply significant area often brings with it an equally penetrating\u00a0sense of shame and, at times, futility.<\/p>\n

And let\u2019s face it: Living a self-controlled and godly life\u00a0in our hyper-sexualized culture is no small thing. We live in an era in which\u00a0the idea of restraint, of reining in our sexual desire for some higher purpose\u00ad \u2014 whether living\u00a0chastely as singles or living faithfully as marrieds \u2014 seems a quaint throwback\u00a0to a bygone age.<\/p>\n

A battle worth fighting<\/h4>\n

Old-fashioned as self-control and purity may seem to those\u00a0outside the faith, however, Scripture clearly teaches that what happens in our hearts,\u00a0sexually speaking, matters to God. In Ephesians 5:3<\/a>, Paul exhorts,<\/p>\n

\u201cBut among\u00a0you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of greed, because\u00a0these are improper for God\u2019s holy people.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Two verses earlier<\/a>, he\u2019s given us an\u00a0alternative vision:<\/p>\n

\u201cBe imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and\u00a0live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a\u00a0fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A four-sided foe<\/h4>\n

So what does it take to experience consistent obedience in\u00a0this thorny area?\u00a0That\u2019s a question I\u2019ve grappled with for 25 years. My battle\u00a0with lust began in college, when I submitted my life to Christ and began for\u00a0the first time to combat this temptation. And even though I\u2019ve been happily\u00a0married for eight years, marriage doesn\u2019t automatically mean that skirmishes\u00a0with this wily temptation are forever a thing of the past. What I offer here is\u00a0not a silver bullet, then, but a distillation of several decades of thought on\u00a0this subject.<\/p>\n

We need a strategy\u00a0that deals with our behavior<\/em> in the\u00a0moment, one that deals theologically\u00a0<\/em>with our hearts, one that\u2019s relationally\u00a0<\/em>grounded and one that seeks to deal holistically\u00a0<\/em>with our appetites if we hope to experience lasting freedom.<\/p>\n

Lust happens when we notice the sexual attractiveness of\u00a0another person\u2019s body and then choose\u00a0<\/em>to fixate on it. I don\u2019t believe the initial noticing is, generally speaking,\u00a0where lust is born. It\u2019s in the second\u00a0<\/em>thought, the second<\/em> moment in which\u00a0we choose to indulge<\/em> our eyes that we\u00a0cross the threshold into sinful thinking. So, at the most basic level, the\u00a0first thing we need is something that helps us redirect our eyes and our\u00a0thoughts \u2014 to change our behavior\u00a0<\/em>\u2014 between\u00a0those first and second moments.<\/p>\n

Pragmatically speaking, nothing helps me do that better than\u00a0Scripture. In college, I had to walk\u00a0through an expansive lawn to classes each day. In late summer and late spring,\u00a0students \u2014 lots of students \u2014 sunbathed there. It felt like a spiritual minefield. Early\u00a0on, I memorized Proverbs 4:25<\/a>: \u201cLet your eyes look straight ahead, fix your\u00a0gaze directly before you.\u201d I would literally recite that verse mentally dozens\u00a0of times daily, and it strengthened my resolve not to capitulate the\u00a0omnipresent temptation of lust.<\/p>\n

Second, we need to submit our\u00a0hearts honestly to God in moments of lust. That includes confessing (\u201cLord, I realize my gaze lingered on that\u00a0person too long just now\u201d), honest acknowledgement of our desires (\u201cFather, I\u00a0long for intimacy and pleasure and a sense of connection with another person\u201d),\u00a0asking God to help us see others as He does (\u201cLord, please help me not to lust,\u00a0but to see that person as You do\u201d) and asking for strength to resist (\u201cFather,\u00a0please help me not to choose to look lustfully at someone else\u201d). Those are all\u00a0prayers that can be prayed in the moment, as well as after the fact, as we seek to submit our sexuality to God<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Find other fighters<\/h4>\n

Third, the battle against lust is by its very nature an\u00a0isolating one. That makes talking about it with a trusted friend critically important.\u00a0The aftermath of lust is always shame, because in our hearts we intuitively\u00a0know it\u2019s a damaging, ugly thing to objectify another person. So we need to\u00a0talk about it with others who are on the road and in the battle with us. Confessing\u00a0our sins opens the door to receive God\u2019s abundant grace through another person.<\/p>\n

Proverbs 28:13<\/a> tells us, \u201cHe who conceals his sins does not prosper, but\u00a0whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.\u201d Confession<\/a> in close\u00a0relationship enables us to experience mercy and grace, I believe, in a way that\u00a0confessing to God privately, on our own, may not. Those relationships are also\u00a0the place where we pray together for resolve to resist temptation the next\u00a0time.<\/p>\n

Mind your appetite<\/h4>\n

Finally, as I\u2019ve gotten older I’ve increasingly realized\u00a0that our appetites are holistically related to each other. Put simply, if my\u00a0appetite for food or material things or passive media consumption is out of\u00a0control, there\u2019s a pretty good chance that my appetite for sexual things may be\u00a0disordered as well. Conversely, to the extent that I\u2019m trying to purposefully\u00a0live within healthy limits when it comes to those other appetites, that\u00a0discipline tends to spill over, in a positive way, when it comes to resisting inappropriate\u00a0sexual thoughts.<\/p>\n

Lust can be a pesky, unwanted interloper in our spiritual\u00a0lives. There\u2019s no easy, foolproof or quick\u00a0fix. But I believe that progress and consistent obedience in this area is<\/em> possible, to the extent that we\u2019re\u00a0willing to combat it with the four-pronged approach I\u2019ve outlined above.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2013 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lust happens when we notice the sexual attractiveness of\u00a0another person\u2019s body and then choose\u00a0to fixate on it. It’s that second thought that’s lustful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":42431,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[3,18,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12268","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adulthood","category-life","category-sexuality"],"yoast_head":"\nOvercoming Lust - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Lust happens when we notice the sexual attractiveness of\u00a0another person\u2019s body and then choose\u00a0to fixate on it. 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