{"id":13051,"date":"2025-05-13T01:25:02","date_gmt":"2025-05-13T07:25:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/2c59e21d-9abe-11e8-99ad-ca52c1e5b2af"},"modified":"2025-05-13T01:26:03","modified_gmt":"2025-05-13T07:26:03","slug":"advice-for-dateless-men","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/","title":{"rendered":"Advice for Dateless Men"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Suzanne Hadley Gosselin recently wrote a post for women called, &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/im-25-and-ive-never-been-on-a-date\/\" rel=\"noopener\">I&#8217;m 25 and I&#8217;ve Never Been on a Date<\/a>.&#8221; She invited our female readers to ask themselves three key questions that may help jump-start their dating life:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Are you getting out?<\/li>\n<li>Are you friendly?<\/li>\n<li>Are you saying &#8220;yes&#8221;?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In response, Boundless reader Jonathan S. messaged our staff on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a> and requested we supply\u00a0a guys&#8217; version of this topic. So here you go!<\/p>\n<p>In this post, each of our guy bloggers give\u00a0their advice to a man who&#8217;s never been on a date:<\/p>\n<h4>Are you afraid\u00a0of rejection?<\/h4>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/author\/andrew-hess\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Andrew Hess<\/a> says, &#8220;If I could go back and tell my 18-year-old self one thing it would be don\u2019t let setbacks set you back for long. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/2009\/the-marks-of-manhood\" rel=\"noopener\">Being a man<\/a> means taking risks and asking women out. The <a href=\"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/2007\/real-men-risk-rejection\" rel=\"noopener\">risk of rejection<\/a> is part of life. During my time dating, I\u2019ve shown different women interest and felt the sting of rejection. Most of us do at some point.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;But by God\u2019s grace, I\u2019ve always dusted myself off, wished her well, and kept moving. Too many guys let a bad experience keep them from taking another risk. They seem to say, &#8216;Hey, that hurt. That\u2019s not worth it.&#8217; But here\u2019s a secret about relationships: God always works our pain for good \u2014 even the pain of rejection. Pain reminds us to depend on God, to make God the source of our happiness. Pain can help us become more like Christ.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Men, if you haven\u2019t asked a girl out in a while, why not? If you are afraid of being rejected, own that fear and take a risk. If she says no, she\u2019s not your girl. But your girl is\u00a0out there somewhere, hoping and praying for a guy like you. So get out there and find her. Don\u2019t let the setbacks set you back.&#8221;<\/p>\n<h4>Are you worried it won&#8217;t work out?<\/h4>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/author\/josh-loke\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Josh Loke<\/a> says, &#8220;Often men avoid asking the women in their church or friendship circles on dates because they aren\u2019t sure that it will work or even if they\u2019re interested in the young lady. That avoidance usually stems from good intentions: not wanting to lead a girl on, not wanting to make things awkward unnecessarily, or simply wanting to be more &#8216;sure&#8217; before pursuing. However, such behavior often hinders your ability to get to know someone in the ways that are <em>necessary<\/em> to make a decision to move onward in commitment. In other words, it\u2019s harder to know if you want to be in a relationship with a girl unless you go on a date with her. Similarly, it\u2019s harder to know if you want to marry someone unless you get into a relationship first.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;If you&#8217;re worried about leading a girl on, here\u2019s something to remember: If you ask a girl on a date, you\u2019re merely committing to a date. If either of you aren\u2019t interested enough for a second date, that\u2019s OK. Anyone you\u2019d want to be dating will be mature enough to handle that. If you\u2019re committing to a relationship, that\u2019s all you\u2019re committing to: to see <em>if<\/em> you want to get married. The answer could very well be no.&#8221;<\/p>\n<div class=\"sap-embed-player\"><iframe src=\"https:\/\/subsplash.com\/+bk27\/embed\/mi\/+rv6hnqb?audio&amp;info&amp;embeddable&amp;shareable&amp;logo_watermark\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\">div.sap-embed-player{position:relative;width:100%;height:150px;}div.sap-embed-player>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;}<\/style>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>Are you lacking confidence?<\/h4>\n<p>Anthony\u00a0says, &#8220;I&#8217;ve got a &#8216;don&#8217;t&#8217; and a &#8216;do&#8217; for you fellas:<\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;Don&#8217;t make false agreements about yourself.\u00a0<\/em>It&#8217;s easy to believe lies like &#8216;I&#8217;ll never get a date,&#8217; or &#8216;Women just don&#8217;t like me.&#8217; Statements like these will not serve you in your goal of meeting a nice young lady. Instead, they&#8217;ll become self-fulfilling prophecies. It doesn&#8217;t matter how justified you feel in making condemning agreements about yourself or how safe you might feel holding onto defeatist beliefs. If the statement is not one you&#8217;d hear your heavenly Father make about you, don&#8217;t make it about yourself.<\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;Do know who you are.<\/em>\u00a0Confidence is one of the most attractive things to a woman. The key to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/podcast\/confident-or-arrogant-episode-679\/\">being confident<\/a> isn&#8217;t bravado or willful ignorance of your weaknesses. Confidence requires a mature understanding of yourself, a knowledge of your weaknesses and strengths, a release of the need to pretend to be better than you are and to self-deprecate, and a general comfortableness in your own skin. The most important kind of confidence comes from being rooted in the love of Christ and your place in Him as an adopted son of God.&#8221;<\/p>\n<h4>Are you stuck on a certain &#8220;type&#8221;?<\/h4>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/author\/joshua-rogers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Joshua Rogers<\/a> says, &#8220;If you&#8217;re a 25-year-old male and you haven&#8217;t been on a date yet, it&#8217;s time to start asking women out until somebody says yes. I realize that some of you may have asked a number of women out, only to be shut down. And yes, I realize that&#8217;s humiliating and discouraging.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;But please don&#8217;t use that as an excuse to give up, because if you do, disengagement will eventually become a habit. And rather than <a href=\"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/2011\/man-enough-to-love-a-real-woman\" rel=\"noopener\">connect with real women<\/a> on real dates, you&#8217;ll probably fall into a pattern of fruitless Facebook gawking, endless dating app browsing, and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/2012\/your-friendgirl-deserves-better\" rel=\"noopener\">friendlationships with women<\/a> who wonder why you never ask them out.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Seriously, what have you got to lose but your pride? Take the initiative to ask out a variety of women \u2014\u00a0including women you&#8217;re only moderately interested in. It&#8217;s good practice for humbling yourself and getting to know the opposite sex, and it may come in handy one day when you need the courage to ask out the woman you actually will marry.&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em>For more stories about how real men pursued their wives, check out &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/2012\/i-pursued\" rel=\"noopener\">I Pursued.<\/a>&#8220;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Copyright 2015 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Each of our guy bloggers give their advice to a man who&#8217;s never been on a date.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":86,"featured_media":43032,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13051","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.8 (Yoast SEO v26.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Advice for Dateless Men - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A guys&#039; version of &quot;I&#039;ve never been on a date.&quot; Each of our guy bloggers give their advice and offer questions to consider.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Advice for Dateless Men\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A guys&#039; version of &quot;I&#039;ve never been on a date.&quot; Each of our guy bloggers give their advice and offer questions to consider.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Boundless\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-05-13T07:26:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/advice-for-dateless-men-67f69130774c3.webp\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1000\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/webp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/\",\"name\":\"Advice for Dateless Men - Boundless\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/advice-for-dateless-men-67f69130774c3.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-05-13T07:25:02+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-05-13T07:26:03+00:00\",\"description\":\"A guys' version of \\\"I've never been on a date.\\\" Each of our guy bloggers give their advice and offer questions to consider.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/advice-for-dateless-men-67f69130774c3.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/advice-for-dateless-men-67f69130774c3.webp\",\"width\":1500,\"height\":1000,\"caption\":\"a man touching a vase of flowers on a set table, wishing he was on a date\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/advice-for-dateless-men\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Blog Posts\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Advice for Dateless Men\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"description\":\"Find your place. 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