{"id":13102,"date":"2015-09-09T08:35:22","date_gmt":"2015-09-09T14:35:22","guid":{"rendered":"2c5a5e98-9abe-11e8-99ad-ca52c1e5b2af"},"modified":"2015-09-09T08:35:22","modified_gmt":"2015-09-09T14:35:22","slug":"no-your-pain-isnt-ok","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/","title":{"rendered":"No, Your Pain Isn\u2019t \u201cOK\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last week, a few of my close friends went through some pretty painful circumstances. One just ended a long-term relationship, another is struggling with parental rejection, and the last is still reeling from a death in the family.<\/p>\n

As I\u2019ve listened to some of the encouragement people have shared with these friends, one statement in particular stuck out. It went something like this: \u201cIt\u2019s OK; I know God has a purpose in all this,\u201d or something to that effect.<\/p>\n

I have issues with these kinds of statements for two main reasons:<\/p>\n

1. It\u2019s insensitive and invalidating.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong. I have often been guilty of saying these things too. This went on until a friend who\u2019s a professional counselor showed me that I was effectively saying that the grieving person shouldn\u2019t feel the pain because there\u2019s a greater purpose at work.<\/p>\n

Greater purpose or not, that pain is still real. And we shouldn\u2019t make someone feel even worse \u2014 perhaps even guilty \u2014 for a lack of faith or perspective, for experiencing that very real hurt. That\u2019s why Paul tells us to \u201cweep with those who weep\u201d in Romans 12:15.<\/p>\n

However, over the last week, I\u2019ve come to a new understanding of why these statements are harmful.<\/p>\n

2. The fact that God can redeem our pain doesn\u2019t justify it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes, God allows pain, but that doesn\u2019t mean He likes it. Sure, we can learn and grow from it, yet from the beginning, it was never God\u2019s intention for us to mature through scars and broken dreams. God created the world flawless and without sin. And I think He intended to teach us things and help us grow only through positive means like encouragement, discipleship, teaching and good examples.<\/p>\n

Sometimes we run the risk of misusing scriptures like, \u201c[W]e know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose\u201d (Romans 8:28<\/a>, ESV). This truth speaks of God\u2019s ability to redeem our sufferings and trials. But it doesn\u2019t mean that pain is justified or approved in heaven simply because God can use it to help us grow \u2014 that\u2019s not the God we serve.<\/p>\n

Yes, when sufferings come, we should strive to grow from them, just as we should strive to grow from loving parental guidance or legitimate pastoral teaching. Yet the fact that we can grow from suffering doesn\u2019t change how painful circumstances can be. It\u2019s not \u201cOK\u201d \u2014 it\u2019s horrible and makes you feel miserable. Our loving, heavenly Father doesn\u2019t wish that on us, nor does He want it for us. But He can and does redeem it.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the hope and the truth. Painful situations stink, yet Jesus knows how you feel. Sufferings will come, and that\u2019s horrible. But God will redeem them in more ways than we can imagine on this side of heaven. Your grief, hurt and agony are real, and so are the love, peace and grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.<\/p>\n

So no, I don\u2019t think our pain is \u201cOK\u201d to God, and thus it shouldn\u2019t be to us. I think it grieves Him, even if He knows how to work it out for our good in the long run.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last week, a few of my close friends went through some pretty painful circumstances. One just ended a long-term relationship, another is struggling with parental rejection, and the last is still reeling from a death in the family. As I\u2019ve listened to some of the encouragement people have shared with these friends, one statement in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":17615,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[6,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13102","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-with-others","category-spiritual-growth"],"yoast_head":"\nNo, Your Pain Isn\u2019t \u201cOK\u201d - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I don\u2019t think our pain is OK to God, & thus it shouldn\u2019t be to us. I think it grieves Him, even if He knows how to work it out for our good in the long run.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"No, Your Pain Isn\u2019t \u201cOK\u201d\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I don\u2019t think our pain is OK to God, & thus it shouldn\u2019t be to us. I think it grieves Him, even if He knows how to work it out for our good in the long run.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Boundless\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/pain.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"637\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"315\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/\",\"name\":\"No, Your Pain Isn\u2019t \u201cOK\u201d - Boundless\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/pain.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-09-09T14:35:22+00:00\",\"description\":\"I don\u2019t think our pain is OK to God, & thus it shouldn\u2019t be to us. I think it grieves Him, even if He knows how to work it out for our good in the long run.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/pain.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/pain.jpg\",\"width\":637,\"height\":315,\"caption\":\"young adult woman in a field\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Blog Posts\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"No, Your Pain Isn\u2019t \u201cOK\u201d\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"description\":\"Find your place. Focus your future.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png\",\"width\":1201,\"height\":289,\"caption\":\"Boundless\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"No, Your Pain Isn\u2019t \u201cOK\u201d - Boundless","description":"I don\u2019t think our pain is OK to God, & thus it shouldn\u2019t be to us. I think it grieves Him, even if He knows how to work it out for our good in the long run.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"No, Your Pain Isn\u2019t \u201cOK\u201d","og_description":"I don\u2019t think our pain is OK to God, & thus it shouldn\u2019t be to us. I think it grieves Him, even if He knows how to work it out for our good in the long run.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/","og_site_name":"Boundless","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org","og_image":[{"width":637,"height":315,"url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/pain.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/","name":"No, Your Pain Isn\u2019t \u201cOK\u201d - Boundless","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/pain.jpg","datePublished":"2015-09-09T14:35:22+00:00","description":"I don\u2019t think our pain is OK to God, & thus it shouldn\u2019t be to us. I think it grieves Him, even if He knows how to work it out for our good in the long run.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/pain.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/pain.jpg","width":637,"height":315,"caption":"young adult woman in a field"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/no-your-pain-isnt-ok\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Blog Posts","item":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"No, Your Pain Isn\u2019t \u201cOK\u201d"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/","name":"Boundless","description":"Find your place. Focus your future.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization","name":"Boundless","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png","width":1201,"height":289,"caption":"Boundless"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog\/13102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/blog"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog\/13102\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}