{"id":13421,"date":"2023-01-03T05:00:38","date_gmt":"2023-01-03T12:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/2c622d90-9abe-11e8-99ad-ca52c1e5b2af"},"modified":"2022-12-22T16:13:18","modified_gmt":"2022-12-22T23:13:18","slug":"when-the-pain-wont-stop","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/when-the-pain-wont-stop\/","title":{"rendered":"When the Pain Won’t Stop"},"content":{"rendered":"

I woke up the other morning with anxiety. Not because I was in pain, but because I was dreading pain to come. With a chronic stomach disorder, I experience pain a lot, and I\u2019m tired of it. It\u2019s exhausting. How is it fair that I don\u2019t feel well so much of the time that I live in fear of an attack coming? How is it fair that my physical appearance is affected\u2014from baggy eyes due to lack of sleep to blotchy skin from hormonal imbalances? These are problems for a 27-year-old still in the market for a date.<\/p>\n

That morning, I was afraid not only of the physical pain and exhaustion, but of the emotional stress that comes with it. Anxiety gripped me like a not-so-comforting throat hug from Darth Vader. I cried out to God for some sort of relief, a solution to my fear. Hearing no answer in the next few seconds, I impatiently began swiping through Facebook posts on my phone to distract myself.<\/p>\n

Lo and behold, an article about anxiety<\/a> was at the top of my news feed. The author talked about facing intense despair and using gratitude to fight it.<\/p>\n

Okay, God, message received<\/em>. I started listing off things in my head that I was thankful for: my job, my friends, my family. That helped a little, but didn\u2019t completely take away the tightening in my chest. Then I realized I should be listing the reasons I\u2019m thankful for my sickness.<\/p>\n

Urgh. That\u2019s so much more difficult. After some thought and prayer, I came up with a list.<\/p>\n

1. Empathy.<\/h4>\n

Not only can I sympathize with chronic pain sufferers, I can empathize too. Empathy is such an important trait because pain can alienate people. “No one else can possibly understand,” we say. Unless they\u2019ve experienced it too. Sometimes it helps to be supported by a mutual sufferer, to face the stress together. There\u2019s something about knowing neither of us are in control, that we both feel helpless but at least we are helpless together, that creates a bond like nothing else can. And sometimes that bond is exactly what\u2019s needed to keep on.<\/p>\n

2. Closeness to God.<\/h4>\n

Pain makes me talk to God more. That fact makes me disappointed in myself, but it\u2019s a fact nonetheless. Sometimes I forget to spend time with Him when things are going great. When I\u2019m in pain, I cry out to Him. Sometimes I\u2019m even angry at Him because it doesn\u2019t feel like He\u2019s there or because I don\u2019t understand why He won\u2019t heal me. And that\u2019s okay. God can take my petty shouting at Him and He is always patient. I may not always \u201cfeel\u201d His presence, but that\u2019s why it is called faith. I know He\u2019s there. I know He cares. I know He suffers with me.<\/p>\n

3. True friends.<\/h4>\n

I have fears that friends will get tired of me because I get sick so much. When I meet someone new and tell them I can\u2019t hang out because I\u2019m not feeling well that day, I usually get a lot of sympathy. An \u201cOh no! That\u2019s awful. I hope you feel better soon, let me know if you need anything\u201d type of reaction. The thing is, sometimes that response changes when it\u2019s the fifth, or the tenth, or the twentieth time. \u201cYou\u2019re sick again<\/em>?\u201d An annoyed or disbelieving response makes me cringe inside.<\/p>\n

The friends who don\u2019t think I\u2019m making it up just to get out of doing something, who express genuine concern even if it\u2019s the one hundredth time I can\u2019t make it to something\u2014those are the keepers, and I\u2019m so grateful for them.<\/p>\n

4. Accepting imperfection.<\/h4>\n

If I had a perfect body and perfect health I think I would be much more arrogant than I am. Beauty is so important to our culture; everyone wants it. Everyone admires it. You know that glow that people with great health get about them? Yeah, I\u2019m pretty sure I just look tired most of the time, and I\u2019m happy if I\u2019m slightly less pale than usual. But it\u2019s okay. Part of being able to accept others\u2019 imperfections involves accepting my own first.<\/p>\n

5. Perseverance and joy.<\/h4>\n

James 1 is my favorite Bible passage; it speaks about finding joy in trials \u201cbecause you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (v. 3). If I ever get a tattoo, it\u2019ll probably be the word \u201cpersevere\u201d (in Elvish, of course) because I come back to this verse again and again. It was when I first started mulling it over that I realized joy and happiness are not the same thing. I don\u2019t have to be happy<\/em> about my suffering. I don\u2019t have to plaster a smile on my face and pretend everything\u2019s okay. Joy is a choice, not a feeling. It\u2019s a choice to persevere with the knowledge that God is good, God is great, and God cares about me through my pain.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to accept that good can come out of suffering\u2014unless you\u2019re the one who\u2019s suffering. It’s much more difficult to praise God when the pain won’t stop. Making a deliberate effort to be thankful helps\u00a0get me through the day and affects my brain in positive ways<\/a> (yay, science!). In fact, I think deliberate gratefulness is one of the most important habits we can develop as we strive for joy in lives of suffering.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2016 Allison Barron. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s easy to accept that good can come out of suffering\u2014unless you\u2019re the one who\u2019s suffering. It’s much harder to praise God when the pain won’t stop.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":38014,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13421","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-growth"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen the Pain Won't Stop - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It\u2019s easy to accept that good can come from pain \u2014 unless you\u2019re the one who\u2019s suffering. 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