{"id":13561,"date":"2022-04-20T00:01:56","date_gmt":"2022-04-20T06:01:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/2c636765-9abe-11e8-99ad-ca52c1e5b2af"},"modified":"2022-04-01T17:19:11","modified_gmt":"2022-04-01T23:19:11","slug":"how-to-have-a-great-first-date","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Have a Great First Date"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dating can be so awkward.<\/p>\n<p>Does anyone really enjoy the dating process? I suppose some folks may enjoy the thrill of the chase, over and over again, but most of the Christian singles I know would rather meet their person, make a commitment and settle down\u2026like, tomorrow. Unfortunately, relationships don\u2019t work that way. Dating is a necessary step on the journey toward marriage.<\/p>\n<p>So, unless you want to stare at each other for four minutes and, <em>poof!<\/em>, fall in love (yes, this is truly a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2015\/01\/11\/fashion\/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">method<\/a>, and yes, I would try it!), we\u2019ve got to be willing to put ourselves out there and get to know people who exhibit marriage potential.<\/p>\n<p>The Bible doesn\u2019t give any specific guidelines about dating since the concept didn\u2019t exist at the time. However, from what I gather, there are only three biblical requirements in choosing a marriage partner. You future husband or wife must be:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>a member of the opposite sex<\/li>\n<li>available (as in single, not married to someone else)<\/li>\n<li>equally yoked (a fellow follower of Jesus)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>That sounds so easy in theory, but it is much more difficult when things like compatibility, attraction, interests, background, or other preferences are thrown into the mix. Although technically unnecessary, there are factors that simply make some a better \u201cfit\u201d than others, and that\u2019s OK \u2014 even good. So, let\u2019s toss to the curb the unbiblical belief in \u201cthe one,\u201d once and for all, and put time and energy into dating to find a good match.<\/p>\n<p>That said, what makes for a successful first date?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Side-by-side activities<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In my mid-twenties, I remember being told that, generally-speaking, men prefer spending time together by engaging in side-by-side activities and women prefer connecting face-to-face.<\/p>\n<p>This makes sense. But when it comes to guy-girl first dates, which is best? I\u2019ve had good dating experiences of each type. But unless both people are social extroverts, side-by-side dates tend to produce easier, more comfortable conversation\u2026particularly on first dates.<\/p>\n<p>Pick an activity that the two of you enjoy or want to try, and go for it. Whether it\u2019s a hike, exploring a museum exhibit or attending a craft industry tour, it\u2019s fun to do an activity together. If you happen to have a great first date, you can always schedule a face-to-face date, such as coffee or breakfast (so romantic!) for date number two.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A positive attitude<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We all have times when we need to unload our mental junk, but keep those conversations reserved for your therapist, best friend or mom. A first date is probably not the time to talk about your ex, your frustrations at work, your health issues or finances.<\/p>\n<p>Commit to bringing (and maintaining) a positive attitude and good manners to all first dates, even if, <em>especially if<\/em>, you figure out right away that the two of you have little in common and no romantic interest. After all, distant or negative body language, constantly checking your phone and\/or avoiding eye contact is just plain rude.<\/p>\n<p>Remember, you made plans to spend time with this person and they deserve your respect. I can guarantee that there is something interesting or positive to unearth if you\u2019ll seek to find it. When the date is over, you don\u2019t have to offer or accept a second date, but it\u2019s nice to leave a favorable impression.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ask good questions<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>On first dates, keep your conversations low-key. My go-to question is, \u201c<em>If you had a full day off, how would you spend it?<\/em>\u201d It\u2019s a great way to find out what your date enjoys and values. I also typically ask about their job, family, and where they grew up. If you receive short answers without any details, you can try to extend the conversation by saying, \u201cTell me more.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I also like <a href=\"http:\/\/www.huffingtonpost.com\/entry\/35-questions-to-guarantee-youll-never-have-a-boring_us_591bc88ce4b0a8551f3f8428\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">this list<\/a> of unique, fun questions from professional dating coach Alexis Meads, including:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What\u2019s your favorite book of all time?<\/li>\n<li>If you had to name one thing that really makes your day, what would it be?<\/li>\n<li>What\u2019s something that you\u2019ve always wanted to try?<\/li>\n<li>If you could travel to any country tomorrow, which would it be?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>The importance of listening<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Have you been on a first date where the other person talked only about themselves the entire time? Sure, it can be a sign of self-absorption, but sometimes that\u2019s not the case at all. Your dating partner may simply be out of practice, a little socially awkward or just plain nervous. Some people take more time to warm up to new people.<\/p>\n<p>Put the onus on yourself to be a good listener. Listening skills are important to develop, not only for dating, but for life in general. Whether in work relationships, church life or the neighborhood, when we give someone our undivided attention and genuinely try to understand what they\u2019re communicating, we honor their intrinsic value.<\/p>\n<p>It makes an impact. It\u2019s noticed. Ultimately, it\u2019s an opportunity to treat others as we want to be treated. So, take the opportunity to extend patience by listening well.<\/p>\n<p>Remember, someday a first date will become your <em>final<\/em> first date. Hang in there! Push through the awkward moments and hone some dating skills that will make you a great first date for someone else\u2026until you meet (and marry) your match.<\/p>\n<p><em>What is your idea of a great first date? Do you have any first date tips to share?<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remember, someday a first date will become your final first date. In the meantime, push through the awkward moments and hone some dating skills.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":36860,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[5,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13561","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.8 (Yoast SEO v26.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Have a Great First Date - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Remember, someday a first date will become your final first date. In the meantime, push through the awkward moments and hone some dating skills.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Have a Great First Date\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Remember, someday a first date will become your final first date. In the meantime, push through the awkward moments and hone some dating skills.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Boundless\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/jonathan-j-castellon-be8AmxavYp8-unsplash-scaled-e1648855094463.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1440\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"How to Have a Great First Date\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Remember, someday a first date will become your final first date. In the meantime, push through the awkward moments and hone some dating skills.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/\",\"name\":\"How to Have a Great First Date - Boundless\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/jonathan-j-castellon-be8AmxavYp8-unsplash-scaled-e1648855094463.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-04-20T06:01:56+00:00\",\"description\":\"Remember, someday a first date will become your final first date. In the meantime, push through the awkward moments and hone some dating skills.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/jonathan-j-castellon-be8AmxavYp8-unsplash-scaled-e1648855094463.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/jonathan-j-castellon-be8AmxavYp8-unsplash-scaled-e1648855094463.jpg\",\"width\":2560,\"height\":1440,\"caption\":\"Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Blog Posts\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How to Have a Great First Date\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"description\":\"Find your place. Focus your future.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png\",\"width\":1201,\"height\":289,\"caption\":\"Boundless\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Have a Great First Date - Boundless","description":"Remember, someday a first date will become your final first date. In the meantime, push through the awkward moments and hone some dating skills.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Have a Great First Date","og_description":"Remember, someday a first date will become your final first date. In the meantime, push through the awkward moments and hone some dating skills.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/","og_site_name":"Boundless","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org","og_image":[{"width":2560,"height":1440,"url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/jonathan-j-castellon-be8AmxavYp8-unsplash-scaled-e1648855094463.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_title":"How to Have a Great First Date","twitter_description":"Remember, someday a first date will become your final first date. In the meantime, push through the awkward moments and hone some dating skills.","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/","name":"How to Have a Great First Date - Boundless","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/jonathan-j-castellon-be8AmxavYp8-unsplash-scaled-e1648855094463.jpg","datePublished":"2022-04-20T06:01:56+00:00","description":"Remember, someday a first date will become your final first date. In the meantime, push through the awkward moments and hone some dating skills.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/jonathan-j-castellon-be8AmxavYp8-unsplash-scaled-e1648855094463.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/jonathan-j-castellon-be8AmxavYp8-unsplash-scaled-e1648855094463.jpg","width":2560,"height":1440,"caption":"Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-have-a-great-first-date\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Blog Posts","item":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Have a Great First Date"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/","name":"Boundless","description":"Find your place. Focus your future.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization","name":"Boundless","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png","width":1201,"height":289,"caption":"Boundless"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog\/13561","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/blog"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/28"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog\/13561\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/36860"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13561"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13561"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13561"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}