{"id":13629,"date":"2024-07-10T01:24:10","date_gmt":"2024-07-10T07:24:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/2c63d011-9abe-11e8-99ad-ca52c1e5b2af"},"modified":"2024-07-10T07:45:49","modified_gmt":"2024-07-10T13:45:49","slug":"7-things-you-should-sacrifice-for-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/7-things-you-should-sacrifice-for-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Things You Should Sacrifice for a Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few months ago, I wrote about 7 Things You Shouldn\u2019t Sacrifice for a Relationship<\/a>, including emotional needs, communication and self-worth. However, sacrifice is a significant part of any healthy relationship. You shouldn\u2019t constantly be taking what you need from your friend or partner and never giving anything in return. So what are the things we should<\/em> be willing to give up for the sake of another person?<\/p>\n

1. Time<\/h4>\n

This is a big one. We get so busy with our lives that spending time with each other \u2014 significant, intentional time \u2014 gets pushed back for other things. Not only do we have to sacrifice activities to keep a relationship strong, sometimes we have to sacrifice “alone time,” and that gets tricky for an introvert like me. It\u2019s important to find a balance.<\/p>\n

Personally, having someone make time for me is how I interpret love. Even if it\u2019s just a quick note to ask me how I\u2019m doing, I feel cared about when someone makes that effort.<\/p>\n

2. Money<\/h4>\n

It\u2019s been reported<\/a> that finances are the leading cause of stress in marital relationships. If one person is a spender and another is a saver, conflict will arise. For couples, sharing incomes is a new and stressful journey they may not be prepared for.<\/p>\n

\u201cMoney doesn\u2019t sound very romantic, so it is often the last thing couples think about \u2014 or talk about \u2014 when they are dating,\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

write Scott and Bethany Palmer in “How and When to Have ‘The Money Talk’.<\/a>”<\/p>\n

\u201cWould that remain true if couples realized every day of their lives involves a decision to be made about money?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The sacrifices associated with finances may not only mean giving up dollars from our pockets, but also a willingness to have difficult discussions and adjust our spending habits.<\/p>\n

3. Self-Centeredness<\/h4>\n

Whenever I realize I\u2019m thinking about myself too much, I recall a quote from the TV show “Reba”:\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThere are millions of stars, circling millions of moons, that are circling millions of planets in millions of galaxies, that all revolve around just one point in the universe. That point is not you.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

But it\u2019s so easy to focus on me all the time, because my needs, thoughts and desires are always in my head! It takes effort <\/em>to think about someone else. It takes willpower <\/em>to put them first. And yet, when we attempt humility \u2014 when we decide we don\u2019t need to \u201cwin\u201d an argument, or we close our mouths instead of saying something hurtful, or we let the other person talk and just listen \u2014 our relationship evolves into a two-way street instead of a one-way. We follow Paul\u2019s example by \u201cbearing with one another in love\u201d (Ephesians 4:2<\/a>).<\/p>\n

4. Energy<\/h4>\n

The healthy couples I know are often tired people. They give up rest for each other in order to spend quality time together. As a single person, I\u2019m tired, too. Spending time at home alone is how I recharge, and I need those days where I do nothing. But sometimes I take fewer of them, because devoting energy to my relationships is important to me. When I get a call from a friend who needs a ride to the airport at 2:00 A.M., I say yes (partly because I will do anything for my friends, and partly because then they\u2019ll feel guilty when I <\/em>need a favor, naturally).<\/p>\n

5. The Need to Be Right<\/h4>\n

But I\u2019m right<\/em> and he\u2019s wrong! <\/em>Why can\u2019t he just acknowledge that?<\/p>\n

I get so frustrated when I know something to be true, yet someone doesn\u2019t believe me or disagrees. But more often than not, the discussion is about something that doesn\u2019t really matter in the long run. “I know <\/em>you said we would meet at 5:00, not 6:00; it\u2019s your <\/em>fault I waited here for an hour!” “I know <\/em>you got that detail in your story wrong; here\u2019s how it really went.” “I know <\/em>Han shot first.” (Well, that last one\u2019s pretty important.)<\/p>\n

But if I give up my need to be right (and not with a sarcastic, \u201cWhatever you say\u201d), I find freedom in placing the relationship above my pride.<\/p>\n

6. The Desire for Perfection<\/h4>\n

It\u2019s weird how I expect perfection in others when I\u2019m so far from it myself. The people close to me are going to have bad, grumpy, horrible days. They\u2019re not always going to treat me right. They\u2019re going to make mistakes. Hopefully I can accept that, because then I won\u2019t be a hypocrite in expecting them to accept me.<\/p>\n

7. Privacy<\/h4>\n

I am a very <\/em>private person, and prioritizing that was detrimental to my relationships growing up. Sharing physical, emotional and spiritual space made me uncomfortable. I failed to recognize that braving vulnerability has its benefits. Facing emotional struggles alone is so much harder <\/em>than if you have people around you praying for you and encouraging you. Seriously. Being alone almost destroyed me. Also, sharing intimate details about your life actually gets easier the more you do it. Who knew?<\/p>\n

\n

When people truly care about each other, they are willing to make sacrifices. Jesus did it, and so should we. It\u2019s such a crucial element to relationships, and I\u2019m sure there are ideas missing from this list. What do you think is important to give up for the sake of another person?<\/p>\n

Copyright 2017 Allison Barron. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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