{"id":13678,"date":"2024-05-14T01:24:49","date_gmt":"2024-05-14T07:24:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/2c6415ee-9abe-11e8-99ad-ca52c1e5b2af"},"modified":"2024-05-13T15:46:48","modified_gmt":"2024-05-13T21:46:48","slug":"goldilocks-is-probably-still-single","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/","title":{"rendered":"Goldilocks Is Probably Still Single"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cWe just don\u2019t have that much in common.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve said these words recently to end a promising relationship or you know someone who has, don\u2019t worry. You\u2019re not alone. The \u201cGoldilocks syndrome\u201d is a common problem in the information age.<\/p>\n

Perhaps you or someone you know is looking for the perfect match before pursuing a relationship. Someone that\u2019s not too this and not too that, but just right<\/em>. This is what I call the Goldilocks syndrome, and it\u2019s ruining promising relationships before they even begin.<\/p>\n

Although the Goldilocks syndrome has been around for years, I blame online dating for making it a growing trend.<\/p>\n

Your perfect match is just a click away \u2026 or so they say.<\/h4>\n

For me, online dating didn\u2019t mean what it means today.<\/p>\n

My wife and I started dating over Facebook while I was in Colorado and she was going to college in Pennsylvania. For date nights, we used to rent the same movie, cook the same meal and then video chat as we hit the \u201cPlay\u201d button at the same time. It was an online date.<\/p>\n

Today, online dating isn\u2019t about how you date as much as it\u2019s the process used to find someone to date.<\/p>\n

Online dating has revolutionized how people search for their soulmate. You can know what kind of music someone listens to, what they do for fun, and how many calories they burned on their last workout before you even ask them out.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all seen the commercials for dating websites and apps that claim to have top-of-the-line algorithms that pinpoint \u201cperfect matches\u201d by pairing you with people who have similar interests and hobbies.<\/p>\n

Essentially, these apps and sites promise you\u2019ll find that \u201cjust right\u201d person who loves what you love so you can live happily ever after.<\/p>\n

And this certainly works for some people.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re convinced that you need to find someone who shares your love for sushi, indie films, and roller derby to be happily married, though, let me persuade you of this: You don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Opposites can attract.<\/h4>\n

The other night, my wife and I were talking about how little we had in common when we first started dating.<\/p>\n

We were polar opposites. I enjoyed electronic dance music, and she preferred country. I preferred quiet days at home, and she enjoyed going out and having fun. I liked seafood, but it made her sick. She loved shopping for clothes, and I abhorred it.<\/p>\n

As we continued talking about how our interests are better aligned today, something dawned on me. My interests haven\u2019t really changed. Instead, a new one tops my list that changes everything.<\/p>\n

My wife became my number one interest.<\/p>\n

Over the last seven years we\u2019ve been married, I\u2019ve noticed her interests have grown on me. What makes her happy makes me happy, and vice versa. Everything she loves and values is important to me because I love her. Well, everything except for country music, of course.<\/p>\n

How can this relationship ever work?<\/h4>\n

In Ephesians 5:22-33<\/a>, Paul says that our marriages are reflections of Christ\u2019s marriage with the church. I can\u2019t imagine a dating couple who has more conflicting interests than the church and Christ.<\/p>\n

When we first start \u201cdating\u201d Jesus, we don\u2019t see how this relationship could ever work. He\u2019s super holy and enjoys things like forgiveness and the golden rule. Whereas we\u2019re always breaking the rules and can\u2019t love much more than ourselves.<\/p>\n

Over time, things improve, though. Our relationship with Jesus starts to change us so that we love what He loves. Our love for Him and His love for us completely transforms what we find lovely in the world around us.<\/p>\n

I was shocked to find that same effect taking place in my marriage. My love for my wife is conforming and realigning my interests to complement what she enjoys and what makes her happy.<\/p>\n

So, if you have a friend who\u2019s looking for someone that is \u201cjust right\u201d before beginning a serious relationship, encourage that friend to broaden his or her horizons.<\/p>\n

Or maybe it\u2019s you who won\u2019t start dating someone unless their interests overlap with yours to the point where you\u2019re practically dating yourself<\/a> in the opposite sex.<\/p>\n

God\u2019s designed marriage in such a way that opposites can attract, and it still works. So, don\u2019t worry about your conflicting interests, but rather look forward to learning to love and enjoy new hobbies and experiences.<\/p>\n

Because when you love someone, you learn to love what that person loves.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2018 Marc Aker. All rights reserved.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Perhaps you or someone you know is looking for the perfect match before pursuing a relationship. This is what I call the Goldilocks syndrome.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":18462,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[8,5,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13678","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-being-single","category-dating","category-marriage-prep"],"yoast_head":"\nGoldilocks Is Probably Still Single - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you looking for someone that\u2019s not too this and not too that, but just right? This is what I call the Goldilocks syndrome.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Goldilocks Is Probably Still Single\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Perhaps you or someone you know is looking for the perfect match before pursuing a relationship. This is what I call the Goldilocks syndrome.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Boundless\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/ThinkstockPhotos-153221667.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"720\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Goldilocks Is Probably Still Single\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Perhaps you or someone you know is looking for the perfect match before pursuing a relationship. This is what I call the Goldilocks syndrome.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/ThinkstockPhotos-153221667.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/\",\"name\":\"Goldilocks Is Probably Still Single - Boundless\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/ThinkstockPhotos-153221667.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-05-14T07:24:49+00:00\",\"description\":\"Are you looking for someone that\u2019s not too this and not too that, but just right? This is what I call the Goldilocks syndrome.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/ThinkstockPhotos-153221667.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/ThinkstockPhotos-153221667.jpg\",\"width\":1280,\"height\":720,\"caption\":\"bowls with post it notes that say too hot, too cold, and just right\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Blog Posts\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Goldilocks Is Probably Still Single\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"description\":\"Find your place. Focus your future.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png\",\"width\":1201,\"height\":289,\"caption\":\"Boundless\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Goldilocks Is Probably Still Single - Boundless","description":"Are you looking for someone that\u2019s not too this and not too that, but just right? This is what I call the Goldilocks syndrome.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Goldilocks Is Probably Still Single","og_description":"Perhaps you or someone you know is looking for the perfect match before pursuing a relationship. This is what I call the Goldilocks syndrome.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/","og_site_name":"Boundless","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org","og_image":[{"width":1280,"height":720,"url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/ThinkstockPhotos-153221667.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_title":"Goldilocks Is Probably Still Single","twitter_description":"Perhaps you or someone you know is looking for the perfect match before pursuing a relationship. This is what I call the Goldilocks syndrome.","twitter_image":"http:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/ThinkstockPhotos-153221667.jpg","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/","name":"Goldilocks Is Probably Still Single - Boundless","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/ThinkstockPhotos-153221667.jpg","datePublished":"2024-05-14T07:24:49+00:00","description":"Are you looking for someone that\u2019s not too this and not too that, but just right? This is what I call the Goldilocks syndrome.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/ThinkstockPhotos-153221667.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/ThinkstockPhotos-153221667.jpg","width":1280,"height":720,"caption":"bowls with post it notes that say too hot, too cold, and just right"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/goldilocks-is-probably-still-single\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Blog Posts","item":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Goldilocks Is Probably Still Single"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/","name":"Boundless","description":"Find your place. Focus your future.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization","name":"Boundless","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png","width":1201,"height":289,"caption":"Boundless"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog\/13678","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/blog"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/28"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog\/13678\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18462"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13678"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13678"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13678"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}