Every time I leave the safety of my car to walk the city streets, I\u2019m afraid.<\/p>\n
When I admitted this to my fianc\u00e9 the other day \u2014 that I never forget my phone in case I need to call for help, that I clutch my keys close in case I need to defend myself, that my heart beats a little faster until I\u2019m home behind locked doors \u2014 he was surprised. He didn\u2019t realize that I, like many women, feel unsafe when I\u2019m alone in public.<\/p>\n
I felt this way even before a stranger jumped into my car with me.<\/p>\n
As I backed my car into the alley, a man shouted at me and raced behind my vehicle, forcing me to brake.<\/p>\n
\u201cSomeone\u2019s trying to rob me! Just back there!\u201d He pointed down the alley, though I couldn\u2019t see anyone and it was broad daylight. \u201cYou\u2019ve gotta let me in! Just drive me a couple blocks away! Just a couple blocks!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not letting you in my car,\u201d I said through the window I had rolled down ever so slightly. He attempted to open the passenger door. None of my neighbors were outside for me to call out to, but I felt relatively safe inside the locked vehicle.<\/p>\n
He kept insisting that he was being robbed and needed to get in the car, his eyes wild. After trying the door a few more times, he stumbled into the yard of my cousin\u2019s house and ran around the front.<\/p>\n
I wasn\u2019t sure if my cousin and her kids were inside or if they had gone for a walk, so I put my car in park and called her \u2014 I wanted her to know there was a potentially crazy man running around and not to let the kids outside. There was no answer, so I left a message.<\/p>\n
The stranger came running back full-tilt. I hadn\u2019t expected him to return. I really wished there was someone else \u2014 anyone else \u2014 around.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me in! You\u2019ve gotta let me in!\u201d he pleaded, trying the door again. It opened, and he jumped in. My heart leaped into my throat. I had forgotten that putting my car in park automatically unlocks the doors.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo, go, go!\u201d he shouted, motioning frantically to the wheel.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet out of my car!\u201d My stomach was churning. In a matter of seconds, but what felt like ages, I turned off the engine, pulled the keys out, grabbed my purse, and leaped out of the car. \u201cI\u2019m calling 911!\u201d<\/p>\n
I made a beeline for the back porch, having no idea what he would do without the barrier of steel and plastic between us. My fingers shook as I dialed. I looked back from the porch, deathly afraid he had followed me. He hadn\u2019t \u2014 in fact, he was just sitting in the passenger seat of the unmoving car as if he didn\u2019t know what to do now. A moment later, he bounded out and ran away into the alley.<\/p>\n
Why was I so afraid? Because most guys are naturally stronger than me. He could have overpowered me if he\u2019d wanted to, beaten me, stolen from me, raped me. One of my male friends said if the same thing had happened to him, he would have just stayed in the car and ordered the guy out. The thought of staying or fighting never entered my mind.<\/p>\n
Rape culture is a term you may be familiar with, especially considering the #MeToo movement. Rape culture doesn\u2019t necessarily mean a woman has been the victim of a sexual assault. It means the fear is real but men may dismiss it. It means the victim gets blamed or her situation is diminished. And it means that ignoring women\u2019s lack of consent is normalized in popular culture. Every woman has had some sort of experience of this type, even if it\u2019s a short moment of panic because a man is walking close behind her on an otherwise empty sidewalk or she’s picking up her pace because of catcalls or ignoring an offensive comment.<\/p>\n
It may be especially prevalent for single women, who often go about their lives alone and return to empty homes. It\u2019s also challenging for those who grew up in purity culture, which places the responsibility for our abuse, or even for our fear, on the female\u2019s shoulders for not dressing or acting properly.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m thankful Jesus set the bar for respecting women, speaking to them and listening to their concerns in public, even though doing so was counter-cultural. It was not normal for a Rabbi to talk to women, but he did so again and again, acknowledging their acts of worship (Mark 14:13-9<\/a>), healing their suffering (Mark 5:25-34<\/a>), teaching them (Luke 10:38-42<\/a>). He even stopped an adulterous woman from being stoned (John 8:1-11<\/a>), a punishment that was \u201cjustified\u201d according to Old Testament law.<\/p>\n I\u2019m thankful I have a God who set such a high standard, and a man in my life who listens to me and hears my fears. I want other single women to feel heard too, even if they don\u2019t have a partner to share this burden with. I encourage others to follow Jesus\u2019 example, making places of safety for women in our churches. And for the women who understand my fears: I admire your bravery and Christ stands with you.<\/p>\n Copyright 2018\u00a0Allison Barron. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Every time I leave the safety of my car to walk the city streets, I\u2019m afraid. I felt this fear even before a stranger jumped into my car with me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":26186,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[3,8,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13769","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adulthood","category-being-single","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\n