{"id":2265,"date":"2024-08-30T01:24:00","date_gmt":"2024-08-30T07:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/57564C6F-12BC-45E7-B158-9065077814CD"},"modified":"2024-08-30T08:26:08","modified_gmt":"2024-08-30T14:26:08","slug":"church-avoiding-singles-its-time-to-rally","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/faith\/church-avoiding-singles-its-time-to-rally\/","title":{"rendered":"Church-Avoiding Singles: It\u2019s Time to Rally"},"content":{"rendered":"

In most Christian circles church attendance seems to be the only litmus test for whether we are committed to Jesus and growing spiritually. After having to leave a church that both my husband and I served in, whenever I ran into former congregants the question was always the same: \u201cSo where ya goin\u2019 now?\u201d The question felt irritating and, at the same time, awkwardly shaming. It seemed people were far more concerned about where we were going to church, or if <\/em>we were going, than how we were really doing.<\/p>\n

Church attendance is a poor measure of the condition of our relationship with God. Implied in the question, \u201cWhere ya goin\u2019?\u201d is an assumption that if you\u2019re attending a church service then all must be well with you and the Lord. And if you\u2019re not going to church, well \u2026 then obviously you\u2019ve lost your way. And a little more church would fix you right up.<\/p>\n

Whether you\u2019ve become disillusioned about church or simply struggle with the desire to engage in regular attendance, how often does a question like this provoke more hurt and shame than genuine interaction? As a single person, what do you wish you could say about your experience of \u201cgoing to church\u201d to the person asking you? Even here, I think the language we use is so important, and often we\u2019re too careless. I use quotations around \u201cgoing to church\u201d because I believe it is a colloquial expression and<\/em> a misnomer. We are the church; we gather as the church for a worship service.<\/p>\n

There are obvious reasons why \u201cgoing to church\u201d is of great concern for many Christians. Scripture urges us to \u201cnot neglect to meet together\u201d (Hebrews 10:25<\/a>). Jesus modeled in the Gospels the regular rhythm of gathering on the Sabbath in the local synagogue. And Christian tradition indicates a long-standing practice of Christ-followers coming together to practice the liturgy of worship: elements like prayer, confession, teaching and Holy Communion. But at times church attendance feels more like an obligation rather than an act of worship.<\/p>\n

The Case for Church Attendance<\/h4>\n

That\u2019s certainly been true for me over my lifetime. I\u2019ve struggled with or been motivated by an array of needs I hoped the church would meet, and many times I\u2019ve felt sorely disappointed. Four years ago, I began to wrestle yet again with my involvement in church. This time, through a quiet process of contemplating how God wanted me to think about church, something subtle and significant shifted within me. I started to consider \u201cgoing to church\u201d and participating in the liturgy of worship as a spiritual practice<\/em>. Rather than attend church as a customer in search of religious goods and services, I began to engage as a practitioner orienting my heart and life toward God.<\/p>\n

This sounds like an innocuous shift in thinking and approach, but it\u2019s actually been quite profound for me. Envisioning my actions of heading toward a worship gathering as a spiritual practice has turned some things around in me. The effect is similar to that of seeing a chiropractor for an alignment. The spine isn\u2019t the only benefactor; my entire body and all its systems benefit because of their connection to the spine. Dedicating myself to attending our Sunday service has provided a new vision for why corporate worship is formative in my life. This vision has fueled my intention to participate more regularly, and the liturgy has provided the means for how my heart, mind and will are shaped as a worshiper of God.<\/p>\n

Choosing to view church attendance as an act of spiritual practice actually resulted in some pretty stark attitudinal shifts as well:<\/p>\n

1. From Spectator to Participant.<\/h5>\n

The simple liturgy that shapes our worship has become a means to reaffirm and act out my faith in community with others. Liturgy literally means \u201cthe work or service of the people.\u201d Coming together with fellow believers to pray together and sing hymns and spiritual songs to God is an active spiritual work. When I began to see things this way, each element of the liturgy became a conscious act of participation rather than a litany I watched and was led through.<\/p>\n

You might be thinking, \u201cBut my church doesn\u2019t have a liturgy.\u201d If there is an intentional flow that includes some of the common elements of public worship\u2014silence, singing, praying, confessing, Scripture reading and coming to the Lord\u2019s Table\u2014then that is a form of liturgy, albeit a non-traditional liturgy. Unfortunately, many churches today create a worship gathering akin to a theater, concert venue or sports arena. Those gathered are in the audience as spectators, not participants, but even in these situations it\u2019s possible to posture your heart and mind toward doing the good work of worshiping and engaging with God together.<\/p>\n

2. From Skeptical to Expectant.<\/h5>\n

In the past, I would attend a worship service with a fair amount of skepticism because of how often I would leave feeling disappointed. Though not outwardly obvious, it\u2019s as though my arms were folded across my chest as I observed the service with a closed heart and critical eye. In this passive and dubious state, I watched and waited for something to \u201cfall from heaven\u201d before I would open myself to receive it.<\/p>\n

When I started to think of my participation in worship as a spiritual discipline, this attitude began to engage and strengthen my will. It awakened my intention to be present, which in turn opened my heart to the formational work of the liturgy and the sermon. I don\u2019t come to church anymore with lofty expectations of getting something out of the worship experience, but I do come with an expectant belief that my heart will be strengthened and shaped toward greater love for and devotion to God.<\/p>\n

3. From Customer to Cooperator.<\/h5>\n

When we complain about church it\u2019s usually because we aren\u2019t getting what we hoped from the service itself or the people in our church. Our needs aren\u2019t being met. We aren\u2019t getting fed. There isn\u2019t enough of this or there\u2019s too much of that. All of these sentiments express the mentality of a customer or consumer. We come to church to get. And when we don\u2019t get what we want, we leave and look for another church to meet our needs. Or we stop looking at all.<\/p>\n

But shouldn\u2019t church do something for us? Yes, of course. Yet our customer mentality is not unlike a \u201cvictim\u201d mentality. We get stuck in the passive role of waiting to be given to or taken care of, and we fail to see or engage with our part in the process. No transforming work of God is ever accomplished without our involvement, cooperation and surrender. Practicing each element of the liturgy \u2014 prayer, singing, listening, confessing and Communion \u2014 is cooperating with the Spirit in the formation of our souls.<\/p>\n

4. From Independent to One-Among-Many.<\/h5>\n

As a single person<\/a>, choosing to attend a worship service that is geared toward people who are married and have families (who may be insensitive to those who are unmarried), can be awkward, lonely and hard. We want, and rightly so, to find community in our churches. We hope for them to be a refuge from the isolated lives we often live. We long for church to be a place where we can find meaningful friendships.<\/p>\n

While it is an incredible gift to find a safe and satisfying Christian community, that\u2019s not always or often what we find. However, even in our disappointment, there\u2019s something important and valuable about moving from independent to being one-among-many, standing, shoulder to shoulder, with others who are seeking Christ. Gathering with the people of God in worship and sharing the space and time together forges humility and inter-dependence in our otherwise autonomous existence.<\/p>\n

Each of these attitudinal shifts describes how the spiritual practice of gathering in worship can train our hearts to desire God more. This conscious and intentional discipline of actively participating in the liturgy can shape and orient our hearts toward Christ \u2014 hearts that are so prone to wander. These actions help us do what in our nature we can\u2019t or won\u2019t do: to grow in love, adoration and worship of the God who loves and adores us.<\/p>\n

Paul\u2019s words to the church in Rome capture beautifully this intentional act of worship I\u2019ve described:<\/p>\n

“Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is<\/em>\u00a0your spiritual service of worship.\u201d (Romans 12:1<\/a> NASB<\/em>)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Perhaps the unprecedented decline in church attendance throughout our country is about more than what church is not offering us or how secular we\u2019ve become; maybe it\u2019s also due to our faulty approach to church. Luckily, it\u2019s not too late. We can incorporate liturgy and engage each aspect of public worship with presence and intention toward the forming of our hearts for God. When you wrestle with whether to go to church, reframe your participation in worship as a spiritual practice and see how that changes your perspective on \u201cWhere you\u2019re goin\u2019.”<\/p>\n

Copyright 2016 Beth Booram. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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