{"id":24345,"date":"2018-10-24T04:04:11","date_gmt":"2018-10-24T10:04:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?post_type=blog&p=24345"},"modified":"2018-11-01T17:06:40","modified_gmt":"2018-11-01T23:06:40","slug":"joshua-harris-releases-statement-apologizing-for-i-kissed-dating-goodbye","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/joshua-harris-releases-statement-apologizing-for-i-kissed-dating-goodbye\/","title":{"rendered":"Joshua Harris Apologizes for ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’"},"content":{"rendered":"

I remember my parents reading \u201cI Kissed Dating Goodbye<\/a>\u201d by Joshua Harris when it first came out in 1997 \u2014 and to this day it still sits on their bookshelf. My older sisters read it. I read it, too.<\/p>\n

Like many conservative Christian families, we, at least initially, agreed with much of what was in the book, and it was my parents\u2019 goal that my sisters and I would follow some sort of road between casual dating and Harris\u2019 courtship model.<\/p>\n

Now, 21 years later, Harris is publicly apologizing for the book. He says,<\/p>\n

While I stand by my book\u2019s call to sincerely love others, my thinking has changed significantly in the past twenty years. I no longer agree with its central idea that dating should be avoided.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In his statement<\/a>, Harris highlights a few flaws he sees in his book and how it\u2019s confused people, hurt people and held back some in fear. In light of those concerns, his publisher supports his desire to discontinue the book\u2019s publication, so future copies will not be printed.<\/p>\n

While \u201cI Kissed Dating Goodbye\u201d did influence the Christian dating culture, we of course can\u2019t blame the full complex reality we\u2019re living in on this one book. Whether it\u2019s social media, the hook-up culture, or church pressure, modern dating is complex and difficult. In the e-book \u201cBooks That Changed My Mind<\/a>,\u201d which further explains his reflections, Harris says,<\/p>\n

Regardless of how my book has affected the way a subgroup of Christians approached relationships, there are massive sociological and technological shifts taking place and making modern romance complex. In other words, the rise of singleness and the delay of marriage has not been caused by my book!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

But he also notes that \u201cthese realities are uniquely challenging for Christians who are seeking to live by a Christian sexual ethic.\u201d Due to these unique challenges, he realizes \u201chow frustrating the ideas of my book could be for those who want to actively pursue and get to know other Christian singles.\u201d<\/p>\n

Two years ago, he began re-evaluating the book, asking people how it affected them. He acknowledges the hurt it has caused some, and apologizes for that. He also recognizes that there are some people who have benefited from it, for which he\u2019s thankful.<\/p>\n

More of his journey and change of heart will be explained in a documentary slated to release next month.<\/p>\n

Where do you land? Have you found \u201cI Kissed Dating Goodbye\u201d to be harmful or helpful? Frustrating or encouraging?<\/em><\/p>\n

Editor’s note: Featured photo is from YouTube screencap of Tedx Talks video “Strong Enough to Be Wrong”<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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