It was my first date ever.<\/p>\n
She was happy.<\/p>\n
I wanted it to be over before it started. Two weeks before our first date, this thoughtful girl came to my rescue my first day at a new school. She invited me to join her and her friends at lunch. She was a lifesaver, helping me fit in and being a friend when I needed one.<\/p>\n
When homecoming came around, she asked me out. I was terrified. I liked her as a friend. I wasn\u2019t ready to start something more serious.<\/p>\n
Instead of telling her that, I said I wasn\u2019t going to the dance, hoping I could escape without hurting her feelings. That didn\u2019t work. She suggested an alternative. Young and na\u00efve, I accepted.<\/p>\n
On our date she was so sweet. I felt so guilty. She leaned in emotionally while I leaned away. I had no intention of pursuing a relationship with her, but I didn\u2019t know how to tell her without making her feel bad.<\/p>\n
Come Monday morning at school, I did the worst thing possible. I gave her the cold shoulder. I didn\u2019t talk with her, explain how I felt or apologize for leading her on. I ghosted her<\/a>.<\/p>\n I felt guilty about it then, and I feel terrible about it to this day. I, too, have been led on, so I know how painful it can be. And I know this: No one wins if honest communication takes a backseat to assumptions and expectations.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve latched onto girls without them knowing it or inviting it.<\/p>\n Because I had a crush on them, I misinterpreted signals. I made dates out of outings that weren\u2019t intended to be dates. I got Christmas gifts for girls, and they thought it was strange. I used words like \u201clove\u201d prematurely and had to accept the consequences.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t until college when my brother catfished me as a prank that I realized I was desperate for love and came on strong. At the time I felt like many girls had led me on. The fact was I was leading myself on. Instead of engaging in honest conversation, I misinterpreted their actions in hopeful expectation.<\/p>\n I was scared to ask girls out, so I\u2019d befriend them and then try to work my way out of the friend zone. Without revealing my intentions, I often got my feelings hurt. I expected something my friends never agreed to give me in the first place.<\/p>\n If you feel you\u2019re being led on, ask yourself if your friend agreed to be more than friends. How does this friend act around you? Has he or she ever talked about starting a deeper relationship? If you\u2019ve never talked about it, then you shouldn’t expect your friend to know you want something more.<\/p>\nIt might not be them; it could be you<\/h4>\n