{"id":25930,"date":"2026-01-07T01:26:24","date_gmt":"2026-01-07T08:26:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?post_type=blog&p=25930"},"modified":"2026-01-07T01:34:45","modified_gmt":"2026-01-07T08:34:45","slug":"bridge-out-ahead","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/bridge-out-ahead\/","title":{"rendered":"Bridge Out Ahead"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was enjoying a beautiful summer day in the mountains. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and the sound of the nearby brook competed with the crunch of the gravel under my feet. Suddenly, my hike was cut short by a missing bridge. Apparently I was enjoying the atmosphere and scenery so much, I didn\u2019t notice the sign a mile back that read: Bridge out ahead<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Long, beautiful relationships can end just like that. When you\u2019ve been with someone you adore for a year or more, it\u2019s easy to take things for granted. If you\u2019re not careful, you might miss some signs that your relationship with your long-time boyfriend, girlfriend or fianc\u00e9 might come to a quick and unexpected stop.<\/p>\n

Here are some \u201cbridge out ahead\u201d signs to watch out for in your longer-term relationships.<\/p>\n

They still \u201chang out\u201d with other single guys or girls alone<\/h4>\n

This one seems obvious, but when you\u2019re infatuated with someone you can make up excuses for them. \u201cThey\u2019ve always had a bunch of friends of the opposite sex, and I shouldn\u2019t ask them to change their friends just for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Truth is, you should.\u00a0 Anyone interested in forming a meaningful relationship with you will do just that \u2014 keep it meaningful. If they hang out one-on-one with other friends of the opposite sex, then your relationship isn\u2019t exclusive. They\u2019re treating you just like another one of their friends.<\/p>\n

Talk about it and see if you can reach a mutual agreement about boundaries when it comes to spending time with their friends. It\u2019s not an easy conversation, but it\u2019s an important one.<\/p>\n

They keep bringing up past grievances<\/h4>\n

My best friend was in a yo-yo relationship. They\u2019d take five steps forward and six steps back. Whenever they disagreed, his girlfriend would bring up something that had hurt her in the past. Sometimes it was something my best friend had done to her and since apologized for.\u00a0 Other times it was something others had done to her, and she was scared he\u2019d do it to her too.<\/p>\n

One of the powerful things about love is it never keeps a record of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:5<\/a>). Forgiveness is a huge part of making loving relationships last. Resentment and guilt are ways to push people away, not keep them together. Ask for forgiveness. Never stop extending it, either.<\/p>\n

They don\u2019t introduce you to their family<\/h4>\n

This is tricky to navigate. There are people out there with broken families. You shouldn\u2019t fault your significant other for not introducing you into the chaos of their dysfunctional family if they have one. They may not want the dysfunction to scare you away or hurt you. Still, you should know about them. You should also see that your boyfriend or girlfriend is doing their part in loving them, maintaining appropriate boundaries, and striving to live at peace<\/a> with them.<\/p>\n

But if their family seems nice, they don\u2019t complain about them and yet they\u2019ve never introduced you to them, that\u2019s worth talking about. Maybe start by talking about your family and see if they talk about theirs. If they do, tell them you\u2019d love to meet them sometime and see what happens.<\/p>\n

They lie about insignificant things often<\/h4>\n

A little lie here and there doesn\u2019t seem like a big deal, but it is \u2014 especially in a serious relationship. Sometimes people have no reason to lie, but they do it anyway. It\u2019s a destructive habit.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not the size of the lies but the frequency of them that\u2019s particularly destructive. Many little lies are just as damaging as one big lie.<\/p>\n

Trusting one another is an important part of making relationships work, and lies, no matter how small, leave room for suspicion. That suspicion only undermines trust and devotion.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re not vulnerable with you<\/h4>\n

Being vulnerable<\/a> isn\u2019t easy. I still find it hard to be vulnerable around my best friend in the world \u2014 my wife. It\u2019s hard, but I do it because it\u2019s important to me and it\u2019s important to her. She cares about me; she worries about me and wants to know how I\u2019m feeling about things, especially when it\u2019s influencing our relationship.<\/p>\n

If your significant other has a hard time opening up or expressing how they feel, that\u2019s something worth working through together. But if that\u2019s not something they\u2019re interested in doing, that\u2019s something to consider.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re with someone who remains guarded around you, don\u2019t give up. You earn vulnerability. If you completely disarm yourself and shed all your armor, odds are they\u2019ll do the same.<\/p>\n

They don\u2019t treat you like Jesus would<\/h4>\n

As Christians, we know the love we\u2019re looking for from a spouse because we\u2019ve experienced it to a much greater degree in our relationship with the Lord.<\/p>\n

In Ephesians 5<\/a>, Paul says that Christ\u2019s love for His church is signified in marriage. Think about that. Every believer has felt and enjoyed the intimacy we all long for in marriage because we\u2019ve been united to Christ by faith. We know what it feels like to be someone\u2019s beloved \u2014 their one true love no matter what.<\/p>\n

Jesus showed just how far He\u2019d go for you, and that\u2019s what He expects your spouse to do too. There\u2019s no such thing as a perfect relationship, but when you\u2019re both fighting just as hard to make things work, it\u2019s close.<\/p>\n

When it seems like your significant other isn\u2019t pursuing you and fighting for your relationship, the bridge may be out ahead. Don\u2019t panic. Pause, pray and talk through things. Share how you feel and ask them to share too.<\/p>\n

You can work through almost anything when you\u2019re both working together. The bridge might be out ahead, but together you can rebuild and meet in the middle.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2019 Marc Aker. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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