{"id":2639,"date":"2025-06-20T01:25:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-20T07:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/084C0D7F-B82B-46A8-ACF6-C5DB4C8F5E42"},"modified":"2025-06-20T02:48:27","modified_gmt":"2025-06-20T08:48:27","slug":"katies-choice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/katies-choice\/","title":{"rendered":"Consecrated Singleness"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summer was in full blaze. Most of the students were gone until Labor Day, and the streets around campus were torn up for work on the sewer lines. Heat shimmers rose like ghostly phoenixes from the sidewalks.<\/p>\n

Even so, the Edge of Night was packed, and what I had thought would be a solitary lunch had been pleasantly crashed by a trio of former students who had gone on to graduate work in other fields. Their locust appetites had devoured the food, and most of the dishes had been taken away. We rose to go. Only Katie remained seated.<\/p>\n

“You guys go on,” she said, waving her hand toward Zack and Woody. “I have to talk to Professor Theophilus about something.” They said their good-byes and disappeared. I sat back down.<\/p>\n

“What’s up?” I asked.<\/p>\n

“Do you mind?”<\/p>\n

“Not at all \u2014 as long as the question isn’t about pickle science.”<\/p>\n

She smiled indulgently. “That’s Woody’s field, Professor T.”<\/p>\n

“What is it that you do again?”<\/p>\n

She knew I was kidding. “Molecular and cell biology, remember? I’m planning to go into medicine.”<\/p>\n

“That was it. But I can’t help you with moly bio, either.”<\/p>\n

“It’s not about moly bio,” she laughed. “It’s a personal issue. I thought you might have some ideas.”<\/p>\n

I signaled the waitress to bring coffee. “What kind of personal issue?”<\/p>\n

“What do you think?<\/p>\n

“The<\/em> issue? The one we’ve talked about before?”<\/p>\n

“Of course.”<\/p>\n

“No man in sight yet, I take it.”<\/p>\n

“Nope.”<\/p>\n

“What about the two who just left? Never mind Zack, he’s attached. But \u2014”<\/p>\n

“Woody?” She rolled her eyes.<\/p>\n

“Why not? He’s got a Y-chromosome, I think.”<\/p>\n

“Thanks, Prof, out of the question. Peter Pan Syndrome. Bad case<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

“Zack had a bad case too. He<\/em> got over it.”<\/p>\n

“Woody’s not Zack. Besides, no spark.” She sighed heavily. “Professor Theophilus, I still don’t know God’s will for my life, and I’m turning ancient.”<\/p>\n

“I’d hardly call 24 ‘ancient,’ Katie.”<\/p>\n

“Twenty-five.<\/em> My married church friend Harmony says that the chances of a woman over 25 getting married are less than the chances of being hit by an asteroid.”<\/p>\n

“I’m sure they aren’t even remotely that poor.”<\/p>\n

She smiled ruefully. “You know more about asteroids than moly bio?”<\/p>\n

“As a matter of fact, I do. Largest, Ceres, diameter 622 miles. Second largest, Pallas, 377 miles. Third largest \u2014”<\/p>\n

“Enough, enough! Are you an amateur stargazer?”<\/p>\n

“No, but when I was a kid I was space-happy.”<\/p>\n

“Well, Harmony’s marriage-happy. She’s got weddings on the brain.”<\/p>\n

“Why do you let her worry you?”<\/p>\n

“That’s a funny question from a person who thinks everyone should marry young!”<\/p>\n

I was startled. “Where did you ever get that idea? I’ve never said that everyone should marry young. I’ve only presented arguments against the view that no<\/em> one should marry young.”<\/p>\n

Now it was her turn to be surprised. “But weren’t you and Mrs. T married by age 12 or something?”<\/p>\n

“Not 12. Nineteen.”<\/p>\n

“And aren’t you both happy?”<\/p>\n

“Certainly. That doesn’t make it a law for everyone.”<\/p>\n

“But I’ve heard you argue that the trend toward later and later marriages is bad for men and women, bad for society and bad for the Church.”<\/p>\n

I grinned. “Have you been secretly taping my conversations? I do say that \u2014 most people in our day take too long to grow up, and most wait too long before marriage. Even so, you’ve never heard me say that men and women should enter marriage before<\/em> becoming mature enough.”<\/p>\n

“Then \u2014 are you saying that I’m<\/em> not mature enough?”<\/p>\n

She looked so pathetic that I had to laugh again. “No, Katie, I’m not saying that at all. But why are you so sure that you’re called to marriage in the first place?”<\/p>\n

“I’m not<\/em> sure that I’m called to marriage. That’s just the problem.”<\/p>\n

My turn to be surprised again. “You aren’t? But I thought you pined to be married. Why else are we having this conversation?”<\/p>\n

“I don’t even particularly want<\/em> to be married.”<\/p>\n

She looked at me. I looked at her. We both burst into laughter.<\/p>\n

“I don’t get it,” I confessed.<\/p>\n

“I thought you knew,”<\/em> she said. “Sure, I feel attraction for men. I was even in love once. If God intends marriage for me and shows me the guy, I’m sure we’d love each other, be happy and have lots of kids. But He sure hasn’t done that so far, and if it’s not His plan, that’s fine with me too.”<\/p>\n

“Then what do<\/em> you want? What is your heart’s desire?”<\/p>\n

A look came over her as though someone had lit a candle inside her eyes. “What really lures me is the idea of lifelong singleness, consecrated to the service of God. No distractions. Like Paul talks about in the seventh chapter of First Corinthians.”<\/p>\n

“When you say it ‘lures’ you, what do you mean?”<\/p>\n

“Did I tell you that I’ve been working in the Christian medical mission on the east side? I love it.” She looked down at the table and gave an embarrassed little giggle, quite unlike her usual confident laugh. “I love reading about people like Mother Theresa. This will sound silly \u2014 but if I were Catholic, I think I’d be happy as a nun.” She looked up again. “It would<\/em> be easier to be a consecrated single as part of a community. I’ve heard that there are Protestant religious orders. But I suppose it wouldn’t have to be that way. I just wouldn’t date or marry, and I’d avoid emotional entanglements.”<\/p>\n

“Have you thought about this?”<\/p>\n

“A lot. I dream about it, just like I used to dream of marriage when I was a little girl.”<\/p>\n

“Have you prayed about it?”<\/p>\n

“Many times a day, for months.”<\/p>\n