{"id":3247,"date":"2011-02-09T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-02-09T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/758C42D3-E074-445D-B536-317EFEE5AF14"},"modified":"2018-08-15T15:44:31","modified_gmt":"2018-08-15T21:44:31","slug":"what-are-you-waiting-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/what-are-you-waiting-for\/","title":{"rendered":"What Are You Waiting For?"},"content":{"rendered":"

It was January 2004 when I found it. <\/p>\n

I\u2019d been talking to larger and larger audiences about sex for several years \u2014 and I was growing bored. How many times could I say the same things about sex? Good grief! This exciting topic was becoming mundane. <\/p>\n

My spirit just felt like there had to be something more. Maybe you\u2019ve been there, bored as you hear yet another sexual purity message drone on. Perhaps even good messages have left you wondering why<\/em>. \u201cDoesn\u2019t anyone else wonder why<\/em> everyone is doing the Silver Ring Thing<\/a>?\u201d We\u2019ve all heard so many trite clich\u00e9s through the years. \u201cIt\u2019s a gift you can only unwrap once\u201d and \u201cYou can become a recycled virgin\u201d come to mind. Something in me just doesn\u2019t like the idea of comparing virginity to a milk carton. But all these repeated messages about \u201cprotecting God\u2019s gift of sex\u201d still leave many wondering why<\/em>! Why<\/em> does God want it protected? Without the answer to that question, the rest of our questions about sex are difficult to address. I got to a place where I knew that answering the why<\/em> question was critical to convincing my brothers and sisters in Christ to wait. <\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I did when I got to that place: I simply prayed, God, blow me away! If I have to keep talking about this, then blow me away with something new that shows me why sex is amazing to You.<\/em> He did. <\/p>\n

A few weeks later, I was reading through Genesis, when I came to these seemingly innocuous words: \u201cAdam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant\u201d (4:1). I\u2019d read over those words before without giving them a second thought. Not this time. I caught the scent of something being not quite as it seemed. For the first time, it occurred to me: \u201cHe was so not just lyin\u2019 there!\u201d <\/p>\n

Clearly this was not one of Adam\u2019s more passive moments. <\/p>\n

Sometimes the Bible makes a lot more sense if you look at it from the perspective of the original writers. So I decided to take a look. I grabbed a Hebrew dictionary and dug through it with passion. <\/p>\n

What was the word the Hebrew writer used in that sentence? I had to know. Scanning, searching, looking \u2026 there! <\/p>\n

There it was. <\/p>\n

The Hebrew word for sex. <\/p>\n

How fascinating. <\/p>\n

Of all words! <\/p>\n

Yada.<\/em><\/p>\n

As in, \u201cYada yada yada\u201d? <\/p>\n

Yes! <\/p>\n

Adam lay [yada<\/em>] with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain (Genesis 4:1).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

You\u2019ll never hear that word the same way again. How amazingly ironic that this Hebrew word for sexIt would be overstating the case to say that each biblical occurrence of yada<\/em> speaks of God-honoring sexuality. It is used in other instances, as I share later in the book. But I believe that the word yada<\/em> points to the nuance of deep experiential and emotional knowledge, and I prove that as you move through the book. \u2014 a word that sends nearly everyone into laughter at some point in their lives \u2014 is most often used today to communicate a sense of boredom. Merriam-Webster.com defines it as a noun that means \u201cboring or empty talk.\u201d \u201cYada yada yada\u201d could just as well mean \u201cblah blah blah\u201d in our society. <\/p>\n

Turns out it\u2019s not so boring after all. <\/p>\n

And in Hebrew it\u2019s a verb \u2014 an action word and then some! <\/p>\n

So what does it really mean? <\/p>\n

The definition of the Hebrew word yada<\/em> is \u201cto know, to be known, to be deeply respected.\u201d What an amazing thing God thought about sex. That it was to be something that causes us to deeply know another. Without alluding directly to the physical act of sexuality, this word points to the deep emotional quenching I yearn for in the act of sex. <\/p>\n

I\u2019m not alone. <\/p>\n

Almost every female I\u2019ve spoken to about this admits she isn\u2019t really yearning for a physical touch in her sexual encounters but is seeking a deep emotional caressing. We want to find our guy looking at and studying us. We want to hear our name whispered. We need him to listen to our words with all his heart. We want to \u201cbe known.\u201d <\/p>\n

I really think I began<\/em> to feel known by my husband when he was still my boyfriend. You\u2019ll probably laugh at my \u201ceureka!\u201d moment. You see, I\u2019m an avid fan of hard-scooped vanilla ice cream drenched in hot fudge and topped off with bananas, nuts and whipped cream. Not one ingredient can be omitted or substituted. (No soft serve!) One night during finals week, at about midnight, I was studying when someone knocked on my door. It was a fellow dorm resident bearing a gift for me: a perfectly crafted vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, banana, nut and whipped cream sundae \u2014 with a note from Bob. Better than studying for his finals, my soon-to-be fianc\u00e9 had been studying me. And I felt known in a way that began to draw my heart into his. <\/p>\n

The latter part of the definition of yada<\/em> \u2014 respect \u2014 tends to resonate with men. They want to know they have what it takes to receive your admiration. They yearn \u201cto be deeply respected.\u201d I\u2019ve asked men from my hometown of State College, Pa., to the hidden corners of Africa what they want most in a relationship. Every one of them answers, \u201cRespect.\u201d <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned that I best respect my husband by affirming him and what he does. When we were in college, Bob was making money on the side by selling synthetic \u201cshammys\u201d at flea markets. (Yep, just like the ShamWow guy! Don\u2019t be too quick to laugh. He had a ministage and sound system to demo the product, which he did in a hilarious and entertaining way. As a result, people bought his product by the armful, and he was making enough money to have several employees and buy himself a white sports car.) Introvert that I was (and am), I agreed to demo his product at the local Amish market. Something as simple as helping him sell his goods created a powerful physical and emotional drawing. He wanted me all the more because I acted in such a way that said, \u201cI see what you do, and I respect you!\u201d <\/p>\n

I guess what I\u2019m trying to say is this: hot fudge sundaes and shammys at an Amish market might not seem to have much to do with sex, based on the world\u2019s presupposition that sex is primarily physical, but an emotional knowing and deep respect are essential ingredients to an intimate, lifelong connection. <\/p>\n

Mingle the two \u2014 an emotional knowing and a deep respect \u2014 and you have yada.<\/p>\n

Excerpted from What Are You Waiting For?<\/a> by Dannah Gresh Copyright 2011 by Dannah Gresh. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The one thing no one ever tells you about sex.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adulthood","category-sexuality"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Are You Waiting For? - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/what-are-you-waiting-for\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Are You Waiting For?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The one thing no one ever tells you about sex.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/what-are-you-waiting-for\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Boundless\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-02-09T07:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-08-15T21:44:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Abby DeBenedittis\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Abby DeBenedittis\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/what-are-you-waiting-for\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/what-are-you-waiting-for\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Abby DeBenedittis\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/person\/0e9446eb726c26299c6ab5644cb7ac07\"},\"headline\":\"What Are You Waiting For?\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-02-09T07:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-08-15T21:44:31+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/what-are-you-waiting-for\/\"},\"wordCount\":1167,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Adulthood\",\"Sexuality\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/what-are-you-waiting-for\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/what-are-you-waiting-for\/\",\"name\":\"What Are You Waiting For? - Boundless\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-02-09T07:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-08-15T21:44:31+00:00\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/what-are-you-waiting-for\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"description\":\"Find your place. 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