{"id":33116,"date":"2025-03-11T01:25:38","date_gmt":"2025-03-11T07:25:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?post_type=blog&p=33116"},"modified":"2025-05-01T15:52:53","modified_gmt":"2025-05-01T21:52:53","slug":"why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/","title":{"rendered":"Why “Living in Sin” Is No Laughing Matter"},"content":{"rendered":"

Several months ago, I heard a startling statement from a pastor: \u201cNine out of 10 couples who come in for premarital counseling are not waiting until marriage for sex.\u201d This statistic shocked me, but I guess it shouldn’t have. I have noticed similar patterns in my own Christian circles. I\u2019ve heard more than one dating couple sheepishly talk about living together. They cite the practical merits of sharing a household and saving money, and often jokingly say, \u201cWe\u2019re living in sin.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to a recent survey<\/a>, half of U.S. Christians say casual sex between consenting adults is sometimes or always acceptable. The percentage rises for unmarried couples in committed relationships.<\/p>\n

When it comes to sex between unmarried adults who are in a committed relationship, the gap between Christians and the [religiously] unaffiliated is less stark. A majority of Christians (57%) say sex between unmarried adults in a committed relationship is sometimes or always acceptable. That includes 67% of mainline Protestants, 64% of Catholics, 57% of Protestants in the historically Black tradition and 46% of evangelical Protestants.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

According to these statistics, many Christian singles are sweeping aside God\u2019s directives for their sexuality. In the past, I\u2019ve written about how I believe my generation overemphasized the act of keeping one\u2019s body pure through virginity<\/a> ala True Love Waits<\/a> instead of cultivating a heart that seeks to honor God in all <\/em>areas of life. The problem with this particular focus is that behavior modification can never bring about lasting transformation.<\/p>\n

Consider the words of Romans 12:2<\/a>, which say:<\/p>\n

\u201cDo not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This verse does not say to legalistically follow the rules so you can lord it over other \u201cless perfect\u201d Christians. No, it says that to know the will of God, you must allow Him \u2014 not this world \u2014 to transform your mind and heart.<\/p>\n

Legalism isn’t the solution, but neither is license. Winking at sin and brushing aside God’s commands have serious consequences. In case you\u2019re wondering why it\u2019s such a big deal to not have sex before marriage, here are three main reasons:<\/p>\n

Sexual immorality is disobedience to God.<\/h4>\n

I\u2019m not going to provide every one of the many Scriptures that say sex is to be reserved exclusively for marriage, but consider Hebrews 13:4<\/a> just for starters:<\/p>\n

\u201cLet marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and the adulterous.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That\u2019s pretty clear. 1 Thessalonians 4:2-5<\/a>, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20<\/a>, and 1 Corinthians 7:2<\/a> provide more insight into God\u2019s plan for sex.<\/p>\n

I find it interesting that most Christians I talk to who are engaging in sex outside of marriage admit it\u2019s wrong. But either they are not motivated to obey what the Bible says on the matter or they have justified their circumstances as some special exception to the rules. Don’t be deceived; God is never OK with sexual immorality. He never allows popular opinion, convenience or even human weakness to justify sin. Instead, He provides a way to reject it<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Sexual immorality drives a wedge between you and God.<\/h4>\n

Engaging in premarital sex may not seem like a big deal, but living in disobedience in this one area negatively impacts your overall walk with Christ. In \u201cLeaving the Edge<\/a>\u201d I wrote:<\/p>\n

Our culture is full of \u201cempty words\u201d that tell us that sexual gratification is most important. But Paul warns that choosing anything \u2014 whether sexual impurity or greed \u2014 over God is idolatry. [Ephesians 5:3-6<\/a>] So our choices regarding \u201chow far is too far\u201d aren\u2019t about the behaviors themselves but about our esteem of God and His commands.<\/p>\n

These choices are so serious that we can potentially separate ourselves from our spiritual inheritance \u2014 not only the prize awaiting us in heaven but the power in Christ we can have now. One friend described it this way: \u201cGetting too physical just dulls you spiritually. Pretty soon stuff that felt wrong doesn\u2019t feel wrong anymore.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

One Bible college professor said if a young man came to him struggling with his belief in God, the teacher would ask, \u201cAre you sleeping with your girlfriend?\u201d In almost all cases the weakened faith was a result of sexual sin. The sin causes our hearts to become calloused toward God and dulls our spiritual impact.<\/p>\n

Sexual obedience leads to freedom and health.<\/h4>\n

I admit, God\u2019s take on human sexuality can seem restrictive. We live in a sexually permissive culture where reserving sex for marriage can feel unrealistic or even impossible. But it is not only possible, it is beneficial. Saving sex for marriage<\/a> is part of God\u2019s good plan for His children to experience freedom, joy and peace.<\/p>\n

Along with the many spiritual benefits of obedience, studies show<\/a> that marriages experience benefits when couples wait to have sex. In one study, for couples who waited relationship stability was 22 percent higher, relationship satisfaction was 20 percent higher, sexual quality of the relationship was 15 percent better and communication was 12 percent better. While those statistics may not seem overwhelming, when marriage gets hard, that slight edge can make all the difference.<\/p>\n

Seeking a fresh start<\/h4>\n

Given the statistics I shared at the beginning of this post, many of you have already engaged in sex before marriage. But if these three reasons for choosing God\u2019s way resonate with you, simply confess your sin and seek a fresh start.<\/p>\n

Several years ago, a godly husband and dad I admire shared his testimony. He talked about his sexually broken past during high school and college and how God had taken hold of his life. As he talked about meeting and marrying his beautiful wife, he said, \u201cShe was the first woman I was pure with \u2026 which was really awesome.\u201d That story stuck with me. No matter how I\u2019ve strayed from God\u2019s ways in the past, my loving Father offers to wipe the record clean. Today I can step forward in obedience and experience the freedom and joy that comes from that decision.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2020 Suzanne Hadley Gosselin. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sexual sin negatively impacts your overall walk with Christ.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":70,"featured_media":42516,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[5,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33116","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating","category-sexuality"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy "Living in Sin" Is No Laughing Matter - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Engaging in premarital sex may not seem like a big deal, but living in sin in this one area negatively impacts your overall walk with Christ.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why "Living in Sin" Is No Laughing Matter\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Living in sin negatively impacts your overall walk with Christ.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Boundless\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-05-01T21:52:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/becca-tapert-F0ZiHWliGGM-unsplash-1-e1602601726622.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"719\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Why "Living in Sin" Is No Laughing Matter\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Living in sin negatively impacts your overall walk with Christ.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/becca-tapert-F0ZiHWliGGM-unsplash-1-e1602601726622.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/\",\"name\":\"Why \\\"Living in Sin\\\" Is No Laughing Matter - Boundless\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter-67913119e53f3.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-03-11T07:25:38+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-05-01T21:52:53+00:00\",\"description\":\"Engaging in premarital sex may not seem like a big deal, but living in sin in this one area negatively impacts your overall walk with Christ.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter-67913119e53f3.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter-67913119e53f3.webp\",\"width\":1500,\"height\":1000,\"caption\":\"a couple, living in sin, lying on a bed together\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/why-living-in-sin-is-no-laughing-matter\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Blog Posts\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Why “Living in Sin” Is No Laughing Matter\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"description\":\"Find your place. 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