{"id":35506,"date":"2023-03-22T05:00:38","date_gmt":"2023-03-22T11:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?p=35506"},"modified":"2024-10-29T12:50:30","modified_gmt":"2024-10-29T18:50:30","slug":"the-possibilities-of-discontentment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/adulthood\/the-possibilities-of-discontentment\/","title":{"rendered":"The Possibilities of Discontentment"},"content":{"rendered":"

Several months ago, I spent a total of 28 hours in the driver\u2019s seat as I followed a Penske moving truck from the northwest suburbs of Atlanta to the rugged deserts of Arizona.<\/p>\n

I suppose you could say it was a modern-day version of a pioneers\u2019 wagon train \u2014 our family trekking west for new adventures; you know, minus the horses, not-built-for-comfort wagon bed, and cornmeal pancakes. (Although, one of our stops did involve Cracker Barrel. Perhaps we should have shared a stack of flapjacks instead of an order of fries.)<\/p>\n

Even though our caravan didn\u2019t include any livestock, we did have our two cats in tow. They did surprisingly well, considering I\u2019ve been told felines and road trips don\u2019t mix. But, when they were<\/em> unhappy, they weren\u2019t shy about serenading me with their discontentment.<\/p>\n

During our cross-country drive, I had a lot of time to ponder discontentment. This \u201crestless desire or craving for something one does not have<\/a>\u201d \u00a0is an interesting and complex emotion.<\/p>\n

Many of us construe it as gloomy, pessimistic and generally unfavorable. As Christ followers, we often try to banish the feeling completely. We believe that, as the apostle Paul wrote, we must \u201cbe content whatever the circumstances\u201d (Philippians 4:11). After all, \u201cgodliness with contentment is great gain\u201d (1 Timothy 6:6).<\/p>\n

Over the last few years, though, I\u2019ve been challenged in the assumption that discontentment is always unhealthy in the life of a believer. I\u2019ve begun to see how God can use a craving for something we don\u2019t have to propel us to make changes we may not have considered otherwise.<\/p>\n

Is God in your discontentment?<\/h4>\n

If you\u2019ve relocated before \u2014 whether to start college or a career in a new city \u2014 you know moving is no joke. It\u2019s hard, and pretty much turns your life upside down. So why did we decide to go west after almost a decade in Atlanta?<\/p>\n

It started with one word: discontentment.<\/p>\n

Two years ago, I began to feel frustrated about living almost 1,800 miles away from my parents and sisters. It wasn\u2019t easy or cheap to see each other. And because of some financial challenges my husband Ted and I were experiencing at the time, our visits had been less and less frequent. I began to ponder whether we should close the geographical gap by moving closer.<\/p>\n

Then COVID-19 hit. As we navigated lockdown, my frustration quickly became a \u201crestless desire or craving\u201d for something I didn\u2019t have \u2014 that proximity to family.<\/p>\n

As that two-year time period tells you, we didn\u2019t high-tail it outta Georgia at those initial feelings of discontentment. Why not? Because we wanted to be confident that God was behind it. The truth is that we all feel dissatisfied and restless at times. And even though discontentment doesn\u2019t deserve banishment to the \u201cnaughty list\u201d of emotions, it can often lead us to make sinful or selfish decisions if we don\u2019t slow down and vet it first.<\/p>\n

So how did we determine God was using discontentment to propel us to move? And how can you discern if you\u2019re supposed to dig in and be faithful where you are \u2014 whether it\u2019s a job, a church, or some other situation \u2014 or if God\u2019s prompting you to make a change? Here are a few practical suggestions.<\/p>\n

1. See what Scripture says<\/h5>\n

The first place I went with my discontentment was Scripture. I wanted the plans that were slowly forming in my heart to be the ones that aligned with God\u2019s purposes. And I knew that my emotions weren\u2019t always trustworthy (Jeremiah 17:9).<\/p>\n

You and I can feel restless in plenty of situations that Scripture clearly addresses. Some verses let us know when discontentment is good and when it\u2019s not so good.<\/p>\n

For example, before my husband Ted and I met, he started to feel dissatisfied with his single status. The verse, \u201cIt\u2019s not good for man to be alone\u201d (Genesis 2:18), kept coming to his mind. In this situation, God was using discontentment to start orchestrating the events that would bring us together.<\/p>\n

But when it comes to our marriage now, if we\u2019re feeling dissatisfied with it<\/a>, it\u2019s not OK for us to look elsewhere for fulfillment. The same is true for premarital sex. The longing may be there during the single years, but God gave us specific boundaries for our protection and well-being. These are areas where discontentment, if followed, can wreak havoc on our lives.<\/p>\n

In our situation, there wasn\u2019t a verse that said, \u201cYes, you should move,\u201d or \u201cNo, you need to stay put.\u201d One choice wasn\u2019t godlier than the other. And maybe that\u2019s true for you too. It could be that you\u2019re in a good job, but it\u2019s not personally fulfilling. Or perhaps there are some issues in your home church, but you aren\u2019t sure whether to stick it out or not. Maybe you\u2019ve been working toward a particular degree, and now you\u2019re not so sure you want to study that area anymore. In these situations, do you stay put or do you make a change?<\/p>\n

What I found in Scripture were the familiar verses like Paul\u2019s statement in Philippians about learning to be content. As I reread it, I noticed two things.<\/p>\n

One, it doesn\u2019t seem like this is an \u201cinstructive\u201d or \u201cprescriptive\u201d passage. I don\u2019t think Paul was telling his readers that willing themselves to be content was \u201cthe answer\u201d each and every time they felt discontentment. Instead, it appears Paul was reassuring the people at this church in Philippi that he knew he was in the center of God\u2019s will. And, because of that, he was satisfied no matter what circumstance he found himself in.<\/p>\n

Wouldn\u2019t it be nice if you and I could always feel as confident as Paul? For us, it doesn\u2019t feel so simple when Scripture doesn\u2019t give us a cut-and-dry answer to what God\u2019s will is in a particular situation. It certainly didn\u2019t give me clarity on whether I needed to learn to be content or not. But what it did do was give me action steps I could take \u2014 which brings me to the second thing I noticed.<\/p>\n

Paul didn\u2019t let his situation dictate his emotions. Just because something was hard or didn\u2019t make him happy, it didn\u2019t mean it wasn\u2019t in God\u2019s will for him. And I knew that might be the case for me as well. Perhaps God wanted to teach me true contentment living far away from my family. So I made it my goal to surrender my feelings to God rather than act on them.<\/p>\n

2. Pray for wisdom and direction<\/h5>\n

One of my favorite quotes is from British author G.K. Chesterton. He wrote, \u201cBeing \u2018contented\u2019 ought not to mean in English, as it does in French, being pleased. Being content with an attic ought not to mean being unable to move from it and resigned to living in it; it ought to mean appreciating all there is in such a position.\u201d And I think this goes back to what Paul was saying in his letter to the Philippian church.<\/p>\n

Because Scripture didn\u2019t have a cut-and-dry answer on whether we should move, I started asking God to remove the discontentment if it wasn\u2019t from Him \u2014 and instead to replace it with an appreciation for where I currently was. I found myself also echoing the words of Moses when he told God, \u201cIf your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here\u201d (Exodus 33:15). I didn\u2019t want to pack one box without Him.<\/p>\n

But, as I did, my discontentment didn\u2019t decrease over time. It slowly increased. Ted and I gained clarity as our circumstances started to shift outside of our control. He went from being a \u201ccompany man\u201d to being self-employed, for example. For the first time in our 18 years of marriage, he could work from anywhere in the country. God had brought us to a place where his job was no longer tied to a location.<\/p>\n

So, if you\u2019re feeling discontent and unsure what the next right thing is, start praying for wisdom and direction. Ask God to either increase or decrease your discontentment. Then, be sensitive to how He starts working in your heart and your circumstances.<\/p>\n

3. Ask trusted people in your life<\/h5>\n

As my discontentment grew and Ted\u2019s job status changed, we also confided in people we trusted. This included our parents, life group leaders, and close friends who had consistently encouraged and challenged us in our spiritual lives. We realized that \u201cin the abundance of counselors there is safety\u201d (Proverbs 11:14).<\/p>\n

We shared with them our potential plans and listened to their honest feedback. Many of them helped us consider both the pros and cons of such a big move. But ultimately, they all affirmed that if we sensed God leading us, we needed to be obedient.<\/p>\n

When I write about marriage, I stress the importance of picking confidants who won\u2019t just tell you what you want to hear. That\u2019s important here too. As you\u2019re trying to determine the motivation behind your discontentment, those who know you well are invaluable.<\/p>\n

Sometimes when we feel stuck or unhappy, our first instinct is to escape or run away; so it\u2019s beneficial to have others who may be able to see the situation more objectively come alongside us and offer input. They may be able to point out blind spots and help you better evaluate your emotions.<\/p>\n

Pulling the trigger<\/h4>\n

As you already know from my whole modern wagon-train tale, after studying Scripture, praying, and seeking wise counsel, we determined that God was behind the discontentment I felt. He used it to propel us into a new season in a new place.<\/p>\n

Does that mean the change has been easy? Absolutely not. But, as we face the ups and downs of living in God\u2019s perfect plan for us, we\u2019re grateful that He faithfully treks alongside us in every adventure.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2021 Ashleigh Slater. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

God can use a craving for something we don\u2019t have to propel us to make changes we may not have considered otherwise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":41908,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35506","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adulthood","category-personal-growth"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Possibilities of Discontentment - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I\u2019ve been challenged in the assumption that discontentment is always unhealthy in the life of a believer. 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