{"id":38114,"date":"2023-02-13T05:00:05","date_gmt":"2023-02-13T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?p=38114"},"modified":"2025-11-19T09:15:10","modified_gmt":"2025-11-19T16:15:10","slug":"find-true-love-on-valentines-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Find True Love on Valentine\u2019s Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cDo we have<\/em> to celebrate Valentine\u2019s Day?\u201d asked Teddy, our 14-year-old son. My immediate response was, \u201cYes!\u201d But why? Superficially, it\u2019s because I like the chocolates. But it\u2019s more than that. I love telling the people I love what they mean to me. Still, Valentine\u2019s Day is<\/em> a quirky holiday. And it can feel especially weird when you\u2019re not dating or married \u2014 regardless of whether you\u2019re 14 or 40.<\/p>\n

This day of romance doesn\u2019t have a clear origin story and it’s hardly a holy day. What\u2019s become the second-largest card-sending holiday<\/em> has morphed into a high-pressure, get-a-date day. Understandably, lots of people shy away from celebrating it. Where did Valentine\u2019s Day come from? And even more pressing, what should you do about it?<\/p>\n

St. Valentine and his day<\/h4>\n

The history of Valentine\u2019s Day is murky. A mythic figure, St. Valentine might be one of three martyrs with the same name. The first, a priest, defied Roman Emperor Claudius II by conducting marriage ceremonies for soldiers against the order of the emperor, who believed unmarried men made better soldiers. He was executed for his actions. The second, a bishop, was also killed at the order of Claudius II, who had him beheaded. The third, who helped mistreated Christians escape torture in Roman prisons, managed to send a love letter from prison before he died. Whatever the truth of Valentine\u2019s identity, he was by the Middle Ages \u201cone of the most popular saints in England and France<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Valentine\u2019s Day<\/em> may have been an effort by the church to Christianize the pagan fertility festival of Lupercalia, a day marked by animal sacrifices and strips of animal skin that were dipped in blood, then paraded around town to gently slap young women and fields, presumably to make them more fertile. When Pope Gelasius outlawed it in the late 400s, February 14 was renamed St. Valentine\u2019s Day. In the Middle Ages, the day was thought to mark the beginning of the birds\u2019 mating season. How romantic.<\/p>\n

Learning to celebrate<\/h4>\n

Whatever its true source, Valentine\u2019s Day has always been a bit of a hodgepodge \u2013 a mix of pagan rituals and man-made traditions. Without the biblical warrant of Advent, Christmas, Lent or Easter, it can be hard to know what to do with it \u2013 whatever your relationship status.<\/p>\n

Despite celebrating Valentine\u2019s Day for the past 25 years with my husband, Steve, I\u2019m still learning what it means to set aside my expectations and love others well. The more we\u2019ve included others in our celebrations \u2013 our own children, singles, young couples, even older mentors \u2013 the more we\u2019ve enjoyed the day.<\/p>\n

Valentine\u2019s Day used to stir self-pity in me. In that frame of mind, even a boyfriend couldn\u2019t fix what ailed me. Far from leaving me in a position to love others, it left me sulking and angry. Beneath tears and sorrow was the belief that I deserved what other people were getting. It wasn\u2019t just pride. I envied what they had.<\/p>\n

That was no way to spend the day. But God was patient. I\u2019ve written before<\/a> about how He used people to speak truth to me, pulling me out of myself to focus on others.<\/p>\n

A fundamental fear<\/h4>\n

Are you dreading waves of grief and sorrow come February 14? You’re not alone. In his book \u201c40 Days of Love<\/a>,\u201d Paul David Tripp writes,<\/p>\n

In some way, every person who has ever lived is on a hunt for love and scared to death that he won\u2019t find it. That\u2019s why a good love story is always so popular.<\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t it amazing that\u2026[this] fundamental fear is addressed and solved by the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ? \u2026the gospel is the world\u2019s best love story. It is a story of a God of love who places his love on people who do not deserve his love. This God sends the Son of his love to make a sacrifice of love so that his children can be welcomed into his arms of love and become a community of love that takes his love to those in desperate need of that love.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Attraction and romance \u2013 the focus of Valentine\u2019s Day \u2013 aren\u2019t bad. They\u2019re one exciting aspect of moving toward marriage. And it\u2019s not wrong to want them. But they\u2019re not ultimate. They\u2019re not what love<\/em> is<\/em>. Love seeks to serve others, to observe and meet needs, to believe the best, and to care for those God places in our lives. When you look at it this way, Valentine\u2019s Day isn\u2019t about love at all. Not really. One glance at the card aisle is enough to see that Valentine\u2019s Day is about feelings \u2013 your feelings. It\u2019s about making your romantic affections known and hoping the person you\u2019re telling will reciprocate. In short, it\u2019s all about you.<\/p>\n

When I was sitting in self-pity over my lack of a boyfriend, I was too self-focused to think creatively about how I could invest in my friends at school and my family back home. I missed key opportunities to serve others, and I made myself fairly unlovely. Tripp says, \u201cWe can know the true joys of human love only if love for God first rules our hearts.\u201d He goes on to say,<\/p>\n

Sin does make us focus on us too much. \u2026Sin does cause us to crave the love of people more than we celebrate the eternal love of God. Only when we are progressively freed from our bondage to ourselves do we come to love God as we should; and as we love God as we should, we love people in the way that God has designed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

God is so good to not leave us stuck in self-focus. \u201cGod bestows on us his eternal transforming love,\u201d Tripp says, \u201cso that by means of that love we will become people who find our rest in his love, and because we do, we are then able to love others well.\u201d God calls us to receive His love, repent for the times we\u2019ve despaired of His goodness, and trust that He really is all powerful, all-wise, and all-loving. He knows what is best for each of his children, and he has the power to accomplish his purpose for us (Isaiah 46:8-10<\/a>). Nothing is beyond his ability (Jeremiah 32:17<\/a>).<\/p>\n

Whether you\u2019re someone\u2019s sweetheart or still hoping to be, if you belong to God through faith in Christ, you are already perfectly loved by the God whose character is love.<\/p>\n

What love is<\/h4>\n

How God defines love is a far cry from definitions so popular in our day. But God has not asked us to define terms for ourselves. He has revealed himself in His Word and has told us what love is:<\/p>\n

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7<\/a>)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

You don\u2019t have to be dating to focus on love this Valentine\u2019s Day. There\u2019s enough in this passage to keep you busy loving the people God has placed in your life right now.<\/p>\n

True love transcends February 14th. John wrote,<\/p>\n

\u201cIn this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another<\/em>\u201d (1 John 4:10-11<\/a>, emphasis added).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Love every day<\/h4>\n

It\u2019s OK to celebrate Valentine\u2019s Day \u2014 or not. The key is to derive your worth not from your dating status, but from who you are in Christ Jesus. Receive the infinite love of God, and fight bitterness and despair by entrusting yourself to God who is all-wise, all-powerful, and all-good. He loves you infinitely, knows what\u2019s best for you, and has the power to accomplish all He has purposed for you, for your good and His glory. That includes giving you the grace for whatever He provides, or doesn\u2019t, each day.<\/p>\n

Growing to trust His love is the key to a good Valentine\u2019s Day \u2014 and every day.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2023 Candice Watters. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Not sure what to do with Valentine’s Day? Draw near to the One who loves you perfectly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":96,"featured_media":44532,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nFind True Love on Valentine\u2019s Day - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Whether you celebrate Valentine\u2019s Day or not, your worth isn\u2019t defined by your dating status but by who you are in Christ Jesus.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Find True Love on Valentine\u2019s Day\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Whether you celebrate Valentine\u2019s Day or not, your worth isn\u2019t defined by your dating status but by who you are in Christ Jesus.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Boundless\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-02-13T12:00:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-11-19T16:15:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day-691dec78c43c6.webp\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1000\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/webp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Victoria Gahm\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Victoria Gahm\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Victoria Gahm\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/person\/5cc4726e973df602a34b69b696a36ef5\"},\"headline\":\"Find True Love on Valentine\u2019s Day\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-02-13T12:00:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-11-19T16:15:10+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day\/\"},\"wordCount\":1426,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day-691dec78c43c6.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Dating\",\"Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/relationships\/find-true-love-on-valentines-day\/\",\"name\":\"Find True Love on Valentine\u2019s Day - 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