{"id":38426,"date":"2023-04-25T04:50:38","date_gmt":"2023-04-25T10:50:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?post_type=blog&p=38426"},"modified":"2023-04-20T13:59:48","modified_gmt":"2023-04-20T19:59:48","slug":"talk-out-your-problems","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/talk-out-your-problems\/","title":{"rendered":"Talk Out Your Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last year I felt my singleness deeply. In many ways I still do, but last year I wasn\u2019t sure how to handle the big emotions that at times overwhelmed me. The result? I tried to simply \u2026 not handle them. For weeks, I held it all in, stuffing down my emotions and acting like I was fine when I wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t recommend that strategy. I didn\u2019t make much progress while dwelling on my circumstances. I just kept going in circles, around and around the same worries, over and over again.<\/p>\n

Finally, I opened up \u2014 ever so slightly \u2014 to a friend.<\/p>\n

It would be the first of many conversations I\u2019ve had with friends and family members since then, processing my extended singleness in a deeper way than I had before. One night I talked with two of my single friends, as we all shared how we were wrestling through our own questions and hopes. \u201cI\u2019m always amazed by how much it helps to just talk about it,\u201d I told them.<\/p>\n

I hope I remember that next time I face something weighing me down.<\/p>\n

3 reasons you should talk about it<\/h4>\n

It blows me away how much freedom we gain by letting our hidden struggles out. I can think of at least three specific ways talking about our problems helps us deal with them.<\/p>\n

Release. <\/strong>Feel that? You\u2019re carrying less on your shoulders now. You\u2019re not holding your problem in anymore, stewing over it. It has seen the light. So have you, hopefully. But that\u2019s the next point.<\/p>\n

Perspective. <\/strong>No matter what you\u2019re worried about, you\u2019re likely overthinking it. There are two types of perspective we can gain from sharing our problems or worries with others. Some people haven\u2019t been where we are but can still weigh in. They have a more objective view of our conundrum. I\u2019m always surprised by how much someone who goes through something completely different can teach me that I can specifically apply to my own situation. We aren\u2019t meant to learn only from people who walk the exact road we\u2019re on. In God\u2019s wisdom \u2014 and kindness \u2014 the things we learn can often apply to many situations.<\/p>\n

But we also benefit deeply from talking with people who have <\/em>been down our road. They\u2019ve been where we are and can look at it from the other side. They \u201dget it\u201d in a way most people may not. There\u2019s great relief in being understood, and people who have been through what we\u2019re facing are more likely to understand our concerns.<\/p>\n

Input. <\/strong>Notice I didn\u2019t say \u201cadvice.\u201d Sometimes that\u2019s the last thing we want \u2014 someone who only tries to fix our problem instead of commiserating with us. But there\u2019s absolutely a place for advice, and hopefully you\u2019ll be talking to people who know when to wield advice as a tool and when to simply listen. \u201cA word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver,\u201d wrote Solomon<\/a>. The best advice \u2014 and advice-givers \u2014 will always point you to Christ. They\u2019ll help you reorient your focus off yourself and onto truth.<\/p>\n

\u00a0A couple caveats<\/h4>\n

Two words of caution here. First, don\u2019t spill all your deepest ponderings to everyone you come in contact with. Not everyone will be qualified to speak into your life. And honestly? Not everyone will want a ride on all your trains of thought.<\/p>\n

Quoting Solomon again (loosely), there is a time to speak<\/a> and a time to be silent. Sometimes we need to speak up in that specific time or place or with that specific person. Sometimes, though, you have to give it a rest. Take a break from fixating on your problems. Sometimes you need to talk to God about it and wait to loop anyone else into the conversation.<\/p>\n

A time to listen, too<\/h4>\n

Is there something you\u2019ve been dwelling on and you\u2019ve decided you need to get some new perspective? Is there a problem or worry filling your mind and zapping your emotional energy? Maybe you\u2019re stuck in a loop about a relational problem at work, or maybe you\u2019re trying to make a decision and the answer seems to elude you.<\/p>\n

What do you need to talk about? Who can you seek out?<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re like me, you\u2019ll be glad you shared your concerns with someone else.<\/p>\n

But remember: This is a two-way street. We aren\u2019t the only ones who need to be heard and listened to. As we seek out the right people to share our problems with, let\u2019s also prepare ourselves to be the people someone else can reach out to.<\/p>\n

As we share our burdens with each other, we just might be surprised at what \u2014 and how \u2014 God teaches all of us.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2023 Lauren Dunn. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Need to get something off your chest? Want fresh perspective? There’s good reason to talk to others about your problems.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":69,"featured_media":38427,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[6,10,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38426","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-with-others","category-personal-growth","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nTalk Out Your Problems - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Need to get something off your chest? Want fresh perspective? 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