{"id":38848,"date":"2023-07-11T04:23:42","date_gmt":"2023-07-11T10:23:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?post_type=blog&p=38848"},"modified":"2025-05-02T10:48:19","modified_gmt":"2025-05-02T16:48:19","slug":"putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Putting God Before My Dream of Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

The children\u2019s magazine I work for regularly receives letters from kids asking for life advice. The usual letters are something like: \u201cMy little brother is sooo<\/em> annoying, and he makes me sooo<\/em> mad. How do I not blow up at him?\u201d But sometimes I open letters along the lines of: \u201cI just got a dog and I love it so much. How can I focus on God more than my new pet?\u201d<\/p>\n

I used to laugh at letters like that. There\u2019s no way Christians can actually <\/em>focus on something more than God, right?<\/p>\n

Wrong. It\u2019s entirely possible. And I know from first-hand experience.<\/p>\n

Since I was a kid, I\u2019ve dreamed of getting married, then having one or two children with my husband and adopting one or two more. There\u2019s nothing wrong with dreaming about marriage, but I recently realized something was wrong when those thoughts and imaginations took priority in my brain. In fact, those thoughts consumed me, and I soon became depressed by them. I cried out to God, and He revealed three things to me.<\/p>\n

1. God needs to be the center of my life.<\/h4>\n

I\u2019ve always heard pastors and super-duper Christian couples say, \u201cGod first, my spouse second.\u201d And they\u2019re right. Whether you\u2019re single or in a relationship, God needs to be first in your life.<\/p>\n

Matthew 6:33 says, \u201cBut seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.\u201d When thoughts about marriage come into my brain, I immediately turn them over to God. I do pray for marriage and that God will bring a spouse into my life one day, in His time. But I try not to daydream about marriage because I know that it can easily become obsessive.<\/p>\n

For some, this isn’t a problem, but my desire for marriage breeds anxiety, which is far from what it\u2019s supposed to do. It took me a while to \u201ccast all my anxieties on him\u201d like 1 Peter 5:7 says. But once I did, I felt so much better and freer.<\/p>\n

2. God will fulfill me, not a person.<\/h4>\n

A few months ago, I checked box four out of the five things I want most in life.<\/p>\n

Graduate from college. Check.<\/p>\n

Live in a foreign country. Check.<\/p>\n

Land my dream job as a writer\/editor. Check.<\/p>\n

Become a published author. Check.<\/p>\n

Then there’s number five:<\/p>\n

Get married and start a family. Not checked yet.<\/p>\n

You\u2019d think I\u2019d be happy to have checked four amazing feats off my list (and still in my 20s, at that). But I wasn\u2019t. Instead, I was focusing on the one thing I was missing. I felt so unfulfilled.<\/p>\n

God is the only one who can truly fulfill me. Not a relationship status. Not checking off all the boxes on my life to-do list. Not a person \u2014 even my practically-perfect imaginary future husband.<\/p>\n

People come. People go. Some people may never show up. But God is always with us. If God is the center of my life, nothing else needs to fulfill me. If I do get married one day, my husband will be an addition <\/em>to my life, not the fulfillment <\/em>of it.<\/p>\n

3. God won\u2019t disappoint me.<\/h4>\n

It took me a while to realize this is true. If you put God first and trust Him wholeheartedly, you won\u2019t be disappointed by what He does or doesn\u2019t bring into your life. Someone I know said this to me often, and I used to not believe her. I would think, Yeah, right. If God doesn\u2019t disappoint us, then why am I disappointed that I\u2019m still unmarried?<\/em><\/p>\n

Obviously, if I had trusted God fully, I would have known that He wasn\u2019t disappointing me. I just needed to wait \u2014 and still need to wait \u2014 for marriage. We all know what Jeremiah 29:11 says. God has plans for us. Plans we need to sometimes wait for. But those plans, whether they include marriage or not, are good and for our benefit.<\/p>\n

God’s heart is toward His children. Trust Him fully, let Him fulfill you, and make Him the center of your life. Remembering and holding fast to these three things will be hard, especially when thoughts, imaginations, jealousies and other distractions come around to refocus your attention elsewhere. I know that for sure. Continual prayer and fellowship with God have helped me seek Him \u2014 not my dreams of marriage \u2014 first. I hope you will be encouraged to join me.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2023 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’d accomplished four of the five things on my life “to-do” list. You’d think I was happy. But I wasn’t; I was focusing on the one thing I was missing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":102,"featured_media":38852,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38848","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith"],"yoast_head":"\nPutting God Before My Dream of Marriage - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I'd accomplished four of the five things on my life "to-do" list. You'd think I was happy. But I wasn't; I was focusing on my dream of marriage.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Putting God Before My Dream of Marriage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I'd accomplished four of the five things on my life "to-do" list. You'd think I was happy. But I wasn't; I was focusing on my dream of marriage.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Boundless\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-05-02T16:48:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Putting-God-Before-My-Dream-of-Marriage2-1500.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"843\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/\",\"name\":\"Putting God Before My Dream of Marriage - Boundless\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Putting-God-Before-My-Dream-of-Marriage2-1500.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-07-11T10:23:42+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-05-02T16:48:19+00:00\",\"description\":\"I'd accomplished four of the five things on my life \\\"to-do\\\" list. You'd think I was happy. But I wasn't; I was focusing on my dream of marriage.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Putting-God-Before-My-Dream-of-Marriage2-1500.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Putting-God-Before-My-Dream-of-Marriage2-1500.jpg\",\"width\":1500,\"height\":843},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Blog Posts\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Putting God Before My Dream of Marriage\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"description\":\"Find your place. Focus your future.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Boundless\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png\",\"width\":1201,\"height\":289,\"caption\":\"Boundless\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Putting God Before My Dream of Marriage - Boundless","description":"I'd accomplished four of the five things on my life \"to-do\" list. You'd think I was happy. But I wasn't; I was focusing on my dream of marriage.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Putting God Before My Dream of Marriage","og_description":"I'd accomplished four of the five things on my life \"to-do\" list. You'd think I was happy. But I wasn't; I was focusing on my dream of marriage.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/","og_site_name":"Boundless","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org","article_modified_time":"2025-05-02T16:48:19+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1500,"height":843,"url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Putting-God-Before-My-Dream-of-Marriage2-1500.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/","name":"Putting God Before My Dream of Marriage - Boundless","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Putting-God-Before-My-Dream-of-Marriage2-1500.jpg","datePublished":"2023-07-11T10:23:42+00:00","dateModified":"2025-05-02T16:48:19+00:00","description":"I'd accomplished four of the five things on my life \"to-do\" list. You'd think I was happy. But I wasn't; I was focusing on my dream of marriage.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Putting-God-Before-My-Dream-of-Marriage2-1500.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Putting-God-Before-My-Dream-of-Marriage2-1500.jpg","width":1500,"height":843},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/putting-god-before-my-dream-of-marriage\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Blog Posts","item":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Putting God Before My Dream of Marriage"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/","name":"Boundless","description":"Find your place. Focus your future.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#organization","name":"Boundless","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/boundless-logo.png","width":1201,"height":289,"caption":"Boundless"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/boundless.org"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog\/38848","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/blog"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/102"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog\/38848\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/38852"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38848"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38848"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38848"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}