{"id":39736,"date":"2023-11-14T01:11:50","date_gmt":"2023-11-14T08:11:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/?post_type=blog&p=39736"},"modified":"2023-11-13T09:55:14","modified_gmt":"2023-11-13T16:55:14","slug":"how-to-confidently-go-places-alone","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.boundless.org\/blog\/how-to-confidently-go-places-alone\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Confidently Go Places Alone"},"content":{"rendered":"

I took a deep breath and pushed open the glass door to the church lobby. It had been a discouraging week: My dating relationship had ended, and my roommate had moved out. And since I was new to town, I was attending yet another new church where I didn\u2019t know anyone.<\/p>\n

I felt extremely alone and very single.<\/p>\n

Stopping at the coffee station, I picked up a paper cup and began to fill it. I said a silent prayer: God, can you help me find a familiar person? <\/em><\/p>\n

A little game to help<\/h4>\n

Finding a \u201cfamiliar person\u201d is a strategy I\u2019ve used for years. When I\u2019m going into a new situation where I don\u2019t know anyone, I pray and ask God to help me find someone familiar.<\/p>\n

What constitutes \u201cfamiliar\u201d varies greatly. Sometimes it\u2019s a small thing. Once, while nervously attending a small group for the first time, I noticed that the girl next to me wore a pair of very unique earrings that my high school best friend would have loved.<\/p>\n

At other times, the connection is uncanny. On the first day of an important internship, I walked into a meeting with my supervisor, palms sweating. But as he began to speak, I relaxed as I realized he had the same thin-rimmed glasses, haircut, and kind personality as my college violin professor.<\/p>\n

This game I play in new environments may sound odd, but I\u2019ve found it accomplishes several things. First, it keeps my mind off myself. Instead of worrying about how I look or act, I focus on observing others. Second, it gives me confidence; after all, if someone is familiar, they aren\u2019t a stranger anymore.<\/p>\n

Finally and most importantly, this strategy lessens my \u201cfear of man\u201d as referenced in Proverbs 29:25<\/a>. Think about it this way: Why can you talk confidently to your best friend but struggle to introduce yourself to the stranger at church? Usually, it\u2019s because you \u201cknow\u201d how to talk to your best friend, while the stranger seems intimidating. But since Genesis 1:27<\/a> says that all humans are made in the image of God, there\u2019s really not that much difference between your best friend and a stranger.<\/p>\n

We’re all just humans<\/h4>\n

Finding familiar attributes between people reminds me that every person I meet is simply another human filled with joy, anger, sadness, and every other emotion common to man. Many verses in the Bible illustrate this. Proverbs 22:2 says, \u201cRich and poor meet together; the Lord is the maker of them all.\u201d Galatians 3:28-29 says, \u201cThere is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you all are one in Christ Jesus.\u201d And of course, Romans 3:23 reminds us that, \u201cFor all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.\u201d<\/p>\n

As I walked into the church service alone that day, I chose a seat near the back. I took a sip of coffee and noticed a girl sitting a few seats down from me. She was tying her hair up into a ponytail.<\/p>\n

I glanced over and smiled at her; she smiled back. I introduced myself, and we talked for a few minutes. That\u2019s when it hit me: Her mannerisms, brown hair and confident personality reminded me of a girl named Lauren, who I grew up going to church with.<\/p>\n

The realization immediately filled me with comfort. And when that new friend<\/a>, Kelsey, invited me to go to lunch, I accepted with confidence. After all, it was kind of like going to lunch with my old friend.<\/p>\n

Moving to a new place<\/h4>\n

A couple years after I met Kelsey, I got married. I figured once I had a husband, I could put my \u201cfamiliar person game\u201d to rest. After all, I\u2019d never have to go places alone again, right?<\/p>\n

Not really. While I enjoy having a default \u201cdate\u201d to events, due to busy schedules and my husband\u2019s shift work, I often still find myself alone in unfamiliar places. Last year, after we moved, my husband was at work and I was unpacking boxes. I thought about how overwhelmed I was with the prospect of meeting our new neighbors when our black Labrador bounded across the yard onto our neighbor\u2019s property. Groaning, I ran after him, lamenting that I was dealing with this on my own. Our neighbor, whom I hadn\u2019t met, was in her yard tending to some flowers.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey there,\u201d I said, breathing hard from running. \u201cSo sorry about the dog.\u201d I rolled my eyes and grabbed him by his collar.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, it\u2019s totally fine, sweetheart,\u201d she smiled, wiping her hands on her pants. \u201cWe\u2019re used to dogs around here.\u201d As she looked at me with kind eyes, I realized she was another familiar person: Her distinct speaking style and gentle smile reminded me so much of my Aunt Tonia, someone I love and adore. I smiled back and led our dog to our house.<\/p>\n

When God shows me a familiar person, I\u2019m so grateful. But the truth is, sometimes He doesn\u2019t. Sometimes, as I\u2019m walking into a new small group or a new situation, I don\u2019t see anyone remotely familiar.<\/p>\n

In those moments, I close my eyes and remember this unchanging truth: Jesus \u2014 my friend, my Lord, my Savior, my ultimate comfort \u2014 is always with me. He says, \u201cFear not, for I am with you\u201d (Isaiah 41:10). And His peace is all the familiarity I really need.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2023 Kathryn Andersen. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Does showing up somewhere solo give you the shakes? This little game just might help. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":102,"featured_media":39737,"menu_order":0,"template":"","categories":[3,6,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39736","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adulthood","category-life-with-others","category-personal-growth"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Confidently Go Places Alone - Boundless<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Does showing up somewhere solo give you the shakes? 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